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Glass House

Newsweek covers around the world (cut from The Glass House 4/10/06)

Last week’s Newsweek covers (even more ironic given that this week’s US one reads “The Price of Denial”…) It’s a disgrace! Right across the world people are being denied the critical facts about Annie Liebowitz’s life! In pictures! The Afghanistan cover of Newsweek had the same picture, but the headline read “Hail to our Glorious […]

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Glass House

Too lazy to do her duty (The Glass House 27/9/06)

A 103 year old woman has been excused from jury duty because it would interfere with her afternoon nap. Really? I think she’s taking this jury duty thing too seriously. Well that’s ironic. I used my jury duty to catch up on sleep. Hey, the guy looked guilty; I didn’t need to hear all that […]

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Glass House

Torture insurance (cut from The Glass House 27/9/06)

CIA agents are taking out insurance to protect them against law suits lodged against them for human rights abuses and torture. Hang on – is this insurance available to Al Qaeda agents too? Because otherwise it’s just not fair. Al Qaeda are taking out similar insurance, to cover claims of torture, human rights abuses, and […]

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Glass House

Monolgue fodder (The Glass House 20/9/06)

VANSTONE VS BEAZLEY Amanda Vanstone has accused Kim Beazley of being racist. She also accused him of being overweight, irritating and wearing ugly dresses. Beazley has backed the Shadow Immigration Minister’s comments on temporary migration workers from “Bombay, Beijing and Beirut” undercutting “Aussie” workers. But he’s not really being racist – it’s more wageist. Kim […]

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Glass House

Wa-Wa and Na-Na (The Glass House 20/9/06)

Channels Nine and Seven are at each others’ throats about Naomi Robson and the Today Tonight crew’s expulsion from Indonesia. Channel Seven claims it was doing the right thing, Channel Nine claims Channel Seven are liars, and Channel Ten responded by replaying an old episode of The Simpsons. Naomi and her crew say they were […]

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Glass House

Pony doping (The Glass House 20/9/06)

The mother of an 11 year old British Show Jumping contestant has been accused of doping rival horses to help her son to victory. What a brilliant plan! Even if he didn’t come first in the field, she could disqualify all the other ponies in the drug tests! Mrs Kim Baudains was seen feeding “mints” […]

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Glass House

Terri Irwin’s Revenge (The Glass House 20/9/06)

A controversial game called “Terri Irwin’s Revenge” has sprung up online. You play Steve Irwin’s wife and shoot stingrays, which fire barbs at you. Every time a stingray hits Terri, she lets fly with a “crikey!” Sure it’s in poor taste, but where else can you set a “croc-bomb” loose to devour a pack of […]

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Glass House

Witch-taxing (The Glass House 13/9/06)

Romanian tax officials are looking to crack down on witches by ordering a census. Witches are outraged. But surely they can just magic up some extra money to pay it? Witches shouldn’t really qualify for tax exemption. Particularly black witches – making a voodoo doll isn’t really charity work. As the Mayor said, “If they […]

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Glass House

Police quiz asks “Are you a psycho?” (The Glass House 13/9/06)

A secret psychological test used by Victoria Police to screen recruits has been leaked via the Internet. The test is used to screen our psychopaths with a series of true/false questions based on the flawless reasoning that psychopaths always tell the truth. Wannabe officers have to answer true or false to a series of propositions […]

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Glass House

Quick officer – to the donkey! (The Glass House 13/9/06)

The South African Minister of Safety and Security has suggested that police officers without access to a car should ride a bicycle or a donkey to crime scenes. “Hurry Constable – to the donkey!” The resource-strapped police force is having difficulty coping with South Africa’s huge rates of murder and rape, among the highest in […]