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Glass House

First steps to catwalk career (The Glass House 29/6/05)

Glass House raw material about an article a bit like this one. South Chinese models are being forced to take an exam to show that they can walk properly before taking part in fashion shows. Some stay up all night the night before, pacing back and forth nervously. Which is good practice. South Chinese models […]

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Glass House

Court allows flirting at work (The Glass House 29/6/05)

Comedy fodder from Blackwell & Holt regarding this article. A German court has upheld the right of Wal-Mart staff in Germany to flirt at work. The court rejected parts of Wal-Mart’s code of conduct relating to employees’ love lives, alcohol and drug use. This is particularly good news for alcoholic crackwhores. And Courtney Love. A […]

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Glass House

Rogues’ Gallery (The Glass House 22/6/05)

Warnie gets mobile phone implanted to save time. Warnie receiving a particularly steamy SMS beamed right into his cortex. This year’s Ashes tour is only being broadcast on brain-cable TV. Warnie’s new hair replacement a success, though I would’ve thought a toupee was less conspicuous. The new domestic cyborg Warnie – you’ll never have to […]

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Glass House

Criminal Mind Starts Developing At 3 (The Glass House 22/6/05)

A new study has suggested that, left untreated, children as young as 3 years old can be identified as having criminal potential. kids with a criminal mind at 3 can develop into a psychopath by the age of 6, by the age of 11 can have genocidal tendencies, and by the time they’re 16 they’re […]

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Glass House

Aguilera is Torture (The Glass House 22/6/05)

US Forces at Guantanemo Bay have been using some pretty low-down tricks: urinating on the Koran, getting prisoners to bark like a dog, dripping water on their heads, putting their naked body in all sorts of poses, and now even stooping to playing them Christina Aguilera. The torturous techniques have resulted in some confusing testimony. […]

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News Spam

Spam Storm is conquered

Spam Storm has now been subsumed by the might of Media Empire. This is a site which collates a bunch of things that land in my inbox that I think the world in general might find entertaining. Rather than forward them on, I stick them up here. Furthermore I allow the great unwashed to vote […]

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Glass House

Trophy: Cut price sex on offer for Dresden’s unemployed (The Glass House 15/6/05)

The Age wants you to pay for this one too, the bastards Unemployed men in Germany are being offered a 20 per cent discount at a Dresden brothel. Just bring in proof of being on the dole for two years to collect the discount. Two-year-old unwashed dishes qualify. Worried about the apparent discrimination of the […]

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Glass House

Boomers keep toy trains on a roll (The Glass House 15/6/05)

At last, a story with a link: Boomers keep toy trains on a roll More than three-quarters of the world’s model train sales are thanks to adult collectors… because kids these days are more interested in things like excitement and fun. Microsoft are releasing a new model train simulation to try to recapture the kids’ […]

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Glass House

Up the Pecking Order (The Glass House 15/6/05)

In our modern society, where we have smaller backyards and no time to walk the dog, chickens are becoming increasingly popular as pets. “They lay eggs and they are a fantastic garbage disposal unit,” said vet Dr Anne Fowler. “And they’re one of the few pets that really roast well.” It’s less wasteful. Instead of […]

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Glass House

Poor Reception (cut from The Glass House 15/6/05)

A Florida woman pulled a gun on her TV repairman, telling him: “You’re not leaving until the TV is fixed.” She was going to see Survivor one way or another… She was said to have been inspired by Desperate Housewives… I can understand why TV would drive you to that. You wouldn’t want to miss […]

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Glass House

Religious twist in Workplace Relations (The Glass House 8/6/05)

This article from the Sydney Morning Herald requires you to pay to order it online. Screw that, they’re not getting my link. The government’s industrial relations reform is heavily grounded in Christian ethics, says devoutly Catholic Minister for Workplace Relations, Kevin Andrews. Surely you remember Christ’s famous “Blessed are the employers with less than 100 […]

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Glass House

Supper with the stars (The Glass House 8/6/05)

A new UK website offers you the chance to have dinner with washed up pop stars and comedians. For a fee of between 300 and 5000 pounds, Supper With The Stars will send around one of their list of semi-stars to liven up your dinner party. And after dinner they sing karaoke to all of […]

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Glass House

Tests on experimental drug hold out the promise of a clever pill (The Glass House 8/6/05)

Tests on experimental drug hold out the promise of a clever pill says the Sydney Morning Herald about a new drug called ampakine. We say: It’s going to make medical exams a lot less gruelling. In fact the main assessment will just be based on which pill you’ve prescribed yourself. I actually ordered a pack […]

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Glass House

Trophy: Dockers’ new recruit ‘Hassa’ (The Glass House 8/6/05)

Some understandably unused gags about an Age article related to this one: Dockers find humour in Hasselhoff hoax Hasslehoff is just who the Dockers need on their forward line. KITT could be coach. The cybervandals were going to use KITT but couldn’t fit the guernsey on… I’m looking forward to when they start replacing all […]

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Glass House

Trophy: Sheik Yerbooti Memorial Explosive Logie (cut from The Glass House 1/6/05)

Some Holt & Blackwell authored material for the trophy segment cut from The Glass House re: a Sydney Morning Herald article “Fitting the Part”. Iraqis living in America are being hired by the US Army to play insurgents and protesters in a new training program that aims to prepare troops for the war zone. They’re […]

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Glass House

Museum a real stink (cut from The Glass House 1/6/05)

A story that made The Glass House script but not the screen: Smelly Swedish herring gets museum Sweden is opening a museum with the world’s finest collection of fermented Baltic herring. That’s right, it’s the fish they collect that makes Baltic Herring Museum the best. Here in Australia, we’re opening the Museum of Flake, Scallops […]

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Glass House

United in Dislike (The Glass House 1/6/05)

The rest of Europe hates the French according to a Daily Telegraph article that doesn’t seem to be online. A European survey has found that everyone dislikes the French. The British view them as chauvinistic and humourless, the Germans see them as pretentious and frivolous, the Spanish damn them as vain and rude, and the […]