Archive for October, 2005

iPod My Baby – please! (The Glass House 26/10/05)

Wednesday, October 26th, 2005

A website now offers little jumpsuits for your baby that make them look like an iPod, complete with a click wheel on the stomach. If you compress your children first, you can fit over 200 into the same jumpsuit! Parents who can’t afford to iPod their baby have been left still having to dress their […]

Punch a Pollie today (The Glass House 26/10/05)

Wednesday, October 26th, 2005

NSW Nationals MP Andrew Fraser took a political stoush a bit literally with his Parliamentary assault on roads minister Joe Tripodi. Fraser later apologised. “I’m sorry – sorry I didn’t kill the prick!” Mr Fraser is now being suspended for eight days – by the neck. Fraser became agitated when Tripodi refused to admit he […]

iNyahNyah open for business

Tuesday, October 25th, 2005

Media Empire today released five classic episodes of the Melbourne comedy radio series Nyah Nyah for free download. Broadcast on PBS-FM between 1997-98, Nyah Nyah created 29 segments that shook the comedy world out of its nest of complacency to leave it, kicking and bleeding on the ground of complacency. In those heady days, it […]

God told Bush to invade (The Glass House 19/10/05)

Wednesday, October 19th, 2005

A new BBC series reports that George W Bush has said he was instructed by God to invade Afghanistan and Iraq. Well, he said he was God. It was actually Dick Cheney in a fake beard. Usually Bush only calls Cheney “God” when they’re being intimate. God’s gotten a bit slack lately. In the olden […]

Commonwealth Condoms (The Glass House 19/10/05)

Wednesday, October 19th, 2005

Ansell has supplied the Melbourne Commonwealth Games village with 60,000 condoms to service the needs of the 4,500 athletes and 1,500 officials. That’s an average of 10 roots each for their 11 day stay. And if they only sleep with each other, they get 20 screws each. 60,000 condoms! And Shane Warne’s not even competing! […]

Ghost Tax (The Glass House 19/10/05)

Wednesday, October 19th, 2005

A village council in India has fined two men $830 for keeping a pet ghost. It’s a ghost tax. A bit like the GST on petrol excise. The ghost has now become too expensive to keep, and the men reluctantly let it go to haunt a more affluent home. The council came around, issued the […]

Latham Accidentally Inspires Party (cut from The Glass House 12/10/05)

Wednesday, October 19th, 2005

A new political party has sprung up, inspired by Mark Latham’s recent outbursts. Latham was disturbed to hear he’d accidentally inspired a political party. “I’m trying to humiliate parties!” The party is basing themselves on Latham’s principles. A warning if you’re thinking of joining – don’t shake their hands. (You might end up with a […]

Rogues’ Gallery – Dubya & Johnny / Bert / Vanstone (The Glass House 12/10/05)

Wednesday, October 12th, 2005

“Sit and spin, sir?” “Don’t worry, Mr President, I’ll get your gooby.” “See? You did have something up your nose.” “Can I still be deputy sheriff? I brought my own gun!” “And so, Mr President, I said, ‘Saddam – that’s LBW!’” “And this means the batsman’s out.” Howard and Bush discuss the future of petrol […]

Conspiracy Course (The Glass House 12/10/05)

Wednesday, October 12th, 2005

The University of Derby’s Sociology course now offers a subject on conspiracy theories called “apocalyptic and paranoid cultures”. It’s also the title of Mark Latham’s latest book about the Labor party. There is a new course studying conspiracy theories. At least, that’s what some people claim. I want to see the evidence. The students will […]

Pain in the neck PM (The Glass House 12/10/05)

Wednesday, October 12th, 2005

PM John Howard says scrapping unfair dismissal laws will be a hit with fellow workers because it will allow “pains in the neck” to be sacked. The trade unions have been outraged at the comment. Particularly the Vampire’s Guild. You will be able to be sacked for being “a pain in the neck”. Other acceptable […]

Libs Ban Antisocialism (The Glass House 12/10/05)

Wednesday, October 12th, 2005

The Victorian Liberal Party are banning anti-socialism. Hang on, does that make them socialists? They’re banning anti-social behaviour. The Anti-Socialist Alliance is furious. Liberal leader Robert Doyle reworded the new proposal so that behaving like a twat is still allowed. Hard to lead a political party from jail. They need it as a tool when […]

US Extreme Makeover (The Glass House 5/10/05)

Wednesday, October 5th, 2005

President Bush has appointed his closest confidante, Karen Hughes, with the task of overhauling the US’s bruised global image. With her and Condi Rice as his closest confidantes, you wouldn’t wanna be his wife… Hey Dubya, you want to know how you could really repair the US’s image? RESIGN. She’s got the job of fixing […]

Stressed-out toddlers (The Glass House 5/10/05)

Wednesday, October 5th, 2005

Toddlers starting at child care experience high levels of stress due to separation from the parents. No, really? I would have thought being torn from your mother’s arms and being locked in a room with screaming babies would be soothing… In the early weeks, you can see toddlers nervously crawling back and forth out the […]