A new documentary reveals that mujahideen used to laugh at Osama bin Laden because he would jump and run away when he heard explosions. That’s why he hides out in a cave – those terrorists are all just so scary.
They used to call him a “scaredy camel”.
His group was nearly called “al Quaieeeek!”
His nickname [...]
Peter Costello has just turned 49. After tax, that’s about 31.
Peter spent the day having his cake and eating it too.
Peter’s birthday cake was a splendid affair. He even donated a tiny sliver for the underprivileged, before giving the rest to Rupert Murdoch.
As a special treat, his wife dressed up as an interest [...]
New Orleans has experienced a baby boom as a result of blackouts caused by Hurricane Katrina. Sometimes it takes a blackout to reignite the sparks.
A lot of the amorousness was caused by random fumbling in the dark. “Is this a candle?” “No, baby… but you can blow it out!”
Without TV and the [...]
- “Let the madness commence!”
- Slow and steady wins the race…
- Bush blows a whistle to announce the appointment of the new US Defence Minister.
- Dick Cheney finally gets a turn in the bunny suit.
- Flopsy Cottontail – the next governor of Texas.
- Osama bin Laden really is the master of disguise!
- Bush still on the hunt for a Rabbit of Mass [...]
ASYLUM-SEEKER HOUSING IS TOPS
Amanda Vanstone claims new accommodation at Villawood Detention Centre is better housing than many Australians enjoy. Yes – and they’re all indigenous people. / Which just goes to show how bad indigenous housing really is.
“I mean, you’ve got security, you’ve got people to cook and clean for you; and just look [...]
South Park’s Cartman and Mel Gibson share identical views on Jews starting wars. There’s a simple explanation for this whole thing. When Mel gets drunk he likes to impersonate Cartman. It’s just that the media haven’t seized on the comments about his mum being a crackwhore.
After being released on bail, Mel told [...]
South Australian Family First MP Dennis Hood has said that if the Government failed to introduce legislation to drug-test MPs, then he would. He’s got one vote already!
Hood’s ploy is a cunning Catch 22. If any politicians vote against the bill, he can accuse them of being paranoid! And everyone knows [...]
An American woman is suing her parents for $183,000 after slipping on their path and breaking her ankle. Lucky it wasn’t her good ankle.
Imagine how much she’d be suing for if she’d died.
She’s hoping that the $183,000 might be enough to buy herself a heart.
Carriel Louah slipped on her parents’ icy path after paying [...]
A lonely Russian farmer has asked President Putin to allow him to marry a cow. It seems world leaders must be softening on their stance towards inter-species marriage. So long as it’s not gay.
“I’ve always dreamed of marrying someone, milking them every morning, and finally eating them in pepper sauce. But none [...]
A New Zealand Christian group has urged parents to smack their naughty children for up to 15 minutes a day. Regardless of what they’ve done – it’s just fun!
Smacking a child for 15 minutes rids them of “sin in the heart”, as well as being plain old fun!
Beat the sin out of them! [...]
Oprah Winfrey has stated that despite rumours to the contrary she is definitely not gay. Of course she’s not gay – she just broke up with her boyfriend of 20 years! She left him because he wouldn’t commit – to the sex change operation…
Oprah and her best friend of 30 years, Gayle King, [...]