Ah, the 2020 Summit, or as I think of it, The Summit of All Fears. Where 1000 of Australia’s best and brightest made their way to Canberra so there’d be nothing to distract them. Who would have thought that so many of the nation’s brightest could combine to create something so dull? It was originally […]
Month: April 2008
Hundreds of Chinese Australians are being asked to rally and defend the Olympic torch from pro-Tibetan protestors when the torch arrives in Canberra on Wednesday. That’s right, we’re going to have a good old-fashioned protest-off! Grab your popcorn. The Chinese Australians hope to protect the torch from pro-Tibetan protestors. They’re kind of anti-protest protestors. Unfortunately […]
The government’s wanting to protect us from cyberterrorists by giving companies the power to read employees’ email without consent. Although only if they employ terrorists. Or have some other reason. Well, I guess we’re all safe from terrorism now. Now the boss can read our email, at last we’ve won the War on Terror. There […]
Well, Australia is going to have its first female Governor-General, Quentin Bryce. It was actually a bit of a slip-up, Kevin Rudd never suspected Quentin was a woman. / Kevin thought Quentin was a boy’s name. I don’t reckon this is such a big step forward as it’s been made out to be – we’ve […]
Liberal Party members say Brendan Nelson’s chances of remaining as Opposition Leader will rest on his performance in response to the May 13 budget. Come on Brendan, a really good showing and you could get your preferred Prime Minister rating up into the low teens! Liberal Party members say Brendan Nelson’s chances of remaining as […]
Italy’s highest court has ruled that’s it’s a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public. That should be only for the tourists. Italy’s highest court has ruled that’s it’s a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public. The only exception is the publically-appointed Genitalissimo. And they’ve finally […]
Prince William has caused a furore by taking an RAF helicopter to a stag weekend on the Isle of Wight. Particularly when it came back tarred and feathered. / covered in shaving cream and filled with hookers and coke. Bloody hell, what’s the world coming to when a crown prince of England can’t commandeer a […]
A New Zealand man has been charged with using a hedgehog as a weapon, after hurling it at a 15 year old boy. He never intended to throw a hedgehog – he just couldn’t find his porcupine. / his boa constrictor. / his Bengal tiger. Fair enough too – the teenager had been pelting him […]
The latest taste sensation in Japan: Vegemite! Apparently it tastes sensational spread on blubber. / It puts a certain zing into boring old blubber. / Thanks to Vegemite, blubber finally tastes good! The Japanese may like Vegemite now, but just wait till they discover toast… It’s not surprising. When you’ve been raised on wasabi, Vegemite […]
A Bosnian man has had his home hit by meteorites five times since last November. That’s the last time he builds a house in the asteroid belt. / with a blackhole chimney. / out of cheap bricks from Roswell. A Bosnian man’s house has been hit by meteorites 5 separate times, which has convinced him […]