Vietnamese authorities are trying to find the owner of a Boeing 727 abandoned at Hanoi’s Noi Bai airport last year. I’m thinking of popping over and saying it’s mine. They also want to find the owner of the airport it’s been stranded on. If someone doesn’t own up soon, they’re going to have to ask […]
Month: July 2008
A London nightclub is about to open which will use the pounding of clubbers’ feet to generate electricity. Of course the most eco-friendly dancers will be those who avoid pirouettes and go the Zombie Stomp. If you want to be really eco-friendly, make sure you bring your jackhammer. If you want to be really eco-friendly, […]
Telstra are thinking of launching a sitcom based on the ad with the father telling his son that the Great Wall of China was used for keeping out rabbits. Huh! And they say Australia can’t make sitcoms! It’s sure to go ahead. They may only have two very vague characters, and 20 seconds worth of […]
President Bush is thinking of writing a memoir. He just needs to work out what all them squiggly wordy-symbol-things mean and he’ll get cracking. Bush reckons he can do all the drawings if someone can handle the rest. He says he’s always been an avid reader, and he’s read all the classics – everything from […]
Inner-city Sydney is seeing a boom in luxury pet products due to the rise in households with high incomes, no children and no taste. Many upmarket Sydneysiders are dressing their dogs up in designer clothes, sunglasses, and sometimes even fetish gear. Because upmarket Sydneysiders are, in general, twats. / really, really fucked. Dogs are now […]
Organisers are using a calendar of 12 hot priests to promote World Youth Day. Relax ladies, they’re gay – for the Lord. They may be hot, but only for Jesus. Please forgive me Father, for I’m about to sin… The priests know it’s not a sin to pose for photographs. They’ve been telling altar boys […]
Tues, July 15 Tomorrow is World Youth Day, and, if you’re an anti-Catholic protestor, it’s World Youch Day. Tomorrow is World Youth Day, so non-Catholic Sydneysiders are advised to hide in their cupboards. Tomorrow is World Youth Day, where all over Sydney, Catholic priests will be offered their choice of youth. The “Future Of Media” […]
Foul-mouthed chef Gordon Ramsey has caused a stir, with his frequent swearing provoking Senate recommendations for changes to Australia’s broadcasting standards. The new recommendations include mandating that all new digital TVs include parental lock-out systems, which whenever they detect the presence of swearing will replace it with a matronly voice saying “Wash your mouth out!” […]
Prince Charles is cutting his carbon footprint by running his 38 year old Aston Martin on fuel made from surplus English wine. Only problem is, his car is now permanently over the limit. Well? It is a vintage car… Prince Charles is driving his car on surplus wine. He’s got to do something with all […]
New powers will allow police to arrest, fine and partially strip-search Sydneysiders for causing annoyance or inconvenience to World Youth Day participants. Because World Youth Day should be a celebration of youth! Obedient, straight-laced youth! / And youth should shut up and do what they’re told. Annoyance could mean anything from wearing a T-shirt to […]