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Good News Week

Flying Ferrari (Good News Week 24/11/08: Giving Headline)

Scientists are working on a flying car! Or as they are calling it, a “plane”. / “the futuremobilicopter.” Awesome name. / “Chitty chitty bang bang”. It’s a great idea to make our cars go up and down. Because we’re not just having enough car accidents dealing with just forward and back and left and right. […]

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Good News Week

Sheesh Kebab (Good News Week 24/11/08: Buzzers of Death)

A British man had his catering business closed down when he was discovered making kebabs next to the dead body of a staff member. The charges would have been much more serious, but he hadn’t got him on the spit yet. The body was in a very bad way. But you should’ve seen what happened […]

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Good News Week

Sex Party (Good News Week 24/11/08: Strange But True)

A new political party has formed in opposition to the proposed Internet filter. They’re called the Australian Sex Party, which sounds a little less crass than the Australian Orgy. They’re the only party who loves it when the dollar goes down on them. / who goes down with the dollar. And, as the dollar continues […]

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Good News Week

Severed Foot #7 (Good News Week 24/11/08: Strange But True)

Just when everyone thought it was all over, yet another dismembered foot has been discovered on Canada’s beaches. Authorities are now thinking that maybe it’s a pod of extremely small whales beaching themselves after a sneaker-themed fancy-dress party. The authorities are stumped. In Canada, a seventh severed foot has washed up on the beach. These […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Two Months (Good News Week 24/11/08: closing)

Tues, Nov. 25 On Tuesday, the inquiry into junk food advertising will report in Canberra. The report will be very entertaining, but everyone wil feel a bit sick afterwards. / The report will start off really well but about halfway through everyone will start to feel a bit queasy. On Tuesday, the inquiry into junk […]

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Good News Week

Aussie gold for tourist crimes (Good News Week 17/11/08: monologue)

The ugly Australian refuses to die, with over 1300 Aussies being arrested or imprisoned overseas each year. Which is great for keeping local crime rates down. 1300 Australian travellers were arrested or imprisoned in one year, according to new statistics. Who would’ve expected that from a nation founded by convicts? 1300 Australian travellers were arrested […]

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Good News Week

Parliament’s Prayer (Good News Week 17/11/08: monologue)

Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull have both rejected calls to change or abandon the recitation of the Lord’s Prayer at the beginning of each day of Parliament. The Lord was unavailable for comment. Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull have both rejected calls to abandon the Lord’s Prayer at the beginning of each day of Parliament. […]

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Good News Week

Did someone say “union”? (Good News Week 17/11/08: What’s the Story)

The Government plans to introduce a compulsory amenities and services fee of up to $250 for Uni students, but says it isn’t a reintroduction of compulsory student unionism. It’s more like compulsory student taxation. / robbery. If the ALP want the Opposition to support it, they should call it “Student Tax”. If there’s one group […]

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Good News Week

UK Brokelympics (Good News Week 17/11/08: What’s the Story)

The financial crisis means the UK is running out of money for their 2012 Olympics. It’ll all still go ahead – it’s just that the swimming will have to be in the Thames, the running will be around the streets of London, and the diving will be from the top of Big Ben. / and […]

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Good News Week

School Pokies (Good News Week 17/11/08: Spot the Bull)

The Australian Hotels Association has asked the Senate to add gambling education to the national school curriculum. What odds it gets up? The Australian Hotels Association has asked the Senate to add gambling education to the national school curriculum. And no-one really knows how to smoke a cigar any more, maybe add that too. / […]