Desperate jobseekers are calling up recruitment officers to say hello, have coffee, or even take them out to expensive lunches. Anything to fill in the day. Desperate jobseekers are calling up recruitment officers to say hello, have coffee, or even take them out to expensive lunches. That way they’ve got something to put in their […]
Month: November 2008
Scientist Dr Peter Dingle says we feed pet dogs more nutritious foods than ourselves, and it’s causing our kids a range of health problems. Not only is it making them fat, but the shine and lustre has really gone out of their fur! Scientist Dr Peter Dingle says we feed pet dogs more nutritious foods […]
The government is introducing a mandatory Internet filter that critics say will slow the web to a crawl and will result in censorship on a par with that in China, Cuba, Iran and North Korea. Oh, and we’re now going to be called “People’s Democratic Republic of Australia”. The government is introducing a mandatory Internet […]
Industry figures show that in times of economic hardship, beer sales remain strong and sometimes even increase. Ahhh… there’s nothin’ more refreshin’ than a recession. / Ahhh… it’s the recession that’s refreshin’. / Ahhh… that’s a refreshin’ recession. Beer sales remain steady during times of market instability, and actually increase to stockbrokers. / to stockbrokers […]
UK prison psychologists are attempting to cure extremist Muslims of hardcore beliefs. They should try reverse psychology: “Looks like you guys have already won the war…” / “You know something really radical these days? Supporting Bush.” UK prison psychologists are attempting to cure extremist Muslims of hardcore beliefs. They should try reverse psychology: “You know, […]
A “Christian Nymphos” website has been set up by a group of wives encouraging others to spice up their marriages without breaking God’s laws. Christian Nymphos! It’s like someone’s been reading my diary… / tapped into my secret dream… Because, not only should Christian wives be “cleaving for their husbands”, but deepthroating for the Lord. […]
Tues, Nov. 18 Macquarie Bank announces half-year results – apparently, it’s 182 and a half days. On Tuesday, Australia’s top 1000 companies will be announced – and it’ll turn out they’re all owned by multinationals. On Tuesday, Australia’s top 1000 companies will be announced – and they’re all TV pirates! On Tuesday, Australia’s top 1000 […]
And the big news? Terrible news. Obama won the election. From what we’ve seen so far, he’s literate, personable, compassionate, peaceable and handsome. We’re going to be out of a job! / What can we make jokes about when the president’s educated, inclusive, charismatic and talented? BRING BACK THE RETARD! I must say it’s been […]
A new report confirms that Australians have an enormous ecological footprint. But then we do have such enormous ecological feet. / We need to take off our ecological Blundstones and put on our ecological thongs – or just go ecologically barefoot. Australia is ranked fifth worst in the world in terms of our ecological damage. […]
Kevin Rudd has ended up with vovo on his face after a report that George Bush asked him “What’s the G20?” in a phone call ended up to be somewhat of an exaggeration. Rudd hosed down the suggestion that the leak would make other world leaders wary of speaking with him, saying that they all […]