Archive for February, 2009

Drinking is killing you (Good News Week 9/2/09: What’s The Story?)

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

The latest report from the Council of Wowsers Telling You Hedonists That You’re All Doomed says that any more than four standard drinks – or two per day regularly – puts you at higher risk of alcohol-related injury. Looks like the nanny state’s been given the keys to the liquor cabinet. The National Health and […]

Rudd’s enormous stimulating package (Good News Week 9/2/09: A Thousand Words)

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Kevin Rudd just can’t stop throwing money at us. It’s good though, those poker machines won’t feed themselves. Kevin Rudd announced a 3.8 billion fund for insulation, hoping to insulate us from the global recession. See what I did there? Kevin Rudd gave up on the whole idea of budget surpluses and decided to see […]

They always get their goat (Good News Week 9/2/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Nigerian police are holding a goat on charges of armed robbery, because witnesses have claimed it’s actually a man who transformed himself through black magic. Either that or the guy is still hiding behind the goat. A group of vigilantes came upon some men trying to break into a Mazda 323, but when they gave […]

Locusts on Ecstacy (Good News Week 9/2/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Sydney scientists have discovered that locusts are ordinarily shy and only turn into ravaging swarms when serotonin is released when they are forced together, creating a state similar to that a human experiences when on ecstasy. So your average locust is actually a high-cust. The elevated levels of serotonin makes these pests accumulate en masse, […]

Handcuffs and Poles (Good News Week 9/2/09: Strange But True)

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

A pair of New Zealand criminals have been involved in one of the worst escape attempts ever, when, handcuffed to one another, they wrapped themselves around a pole. Sure, they didn’t escape, but they won a camera on Australia’s Funniest Prison Videos. The police arrested them after battering them with rubber truncheons and a prolonged […]

Cocky Raccoon (Good News Week 9/2/09: Strange But True)

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

A Russian man has had part of his penis bitten off after an ill-fated attempt to rape a raccoon. It was an honest mistake – he thought it was a beaver. But you know raccoons – they’re such cockteases. Of course, it was a female raccoon – he’s no pervert. The guy’s not complaining – […]

Good Next Week (Good News Week 9/2/09: closing)

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Tues, Feb. 10 Tomorrow’s the Israeli election. Vote the right way or else! Tomorrow sees the election in Israel. Hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but you know they’ve always got it rigged so that a Jew will win. Tomorrow, the 2009 Australian Disasters Conference will be held in Canberra, where they’ll talk about […]

Reel News from Falls TV

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

Hi all, Well just before GNW starts for the new year (8:30 Mondays, Channel 10), and this blog fills up with oh-so-hilarious jokes at a rate of 1000 per minute, I thought I’d post a few other little things Mat and I did on our holidays. We were asked to write a number of things […]