Archive for April, 2009

And the big news? (Good News Week 20/4/09: monologue)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

He’s black & hairy, with a white chest & paws, and he’s been in obedience school to make sure he doesn’t wee on the carpet while in the White House. But enough about the president… “Bo” is the Obama’s 6 month-old Portuguese water dog. Apparently the name “Bo” was chosen because Michelle Obama’s late father […]

Bikies Hysteria (Good News Week 20/4/09: What’s the Story?)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Bikies! They’re everywhere! It’s Al Qaeda on Harleys! Osama’s disappointed that everyone’s focussed on bikie gangs these days. Before he pulls another September 11, he’s buying a Harley. But all this demonisation ignores the fact that most bikies are perfectly lovely people. It’s only their leaders that we have to be shitscared of. Four bikies, […]

No Superheroes (Good News Week 20/4/09: What’s the Story?)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

A Fitzroy childcare centre has banned all commercial characters including superheroes and Barbies. They want to brainwash the kids their own way. The John Street Community Early Childhood Co-Op have banned all commercial characters and logos which might be marketing to children. And, to avoid labels of hypocrisy, have also changed their name to “Childcare […]

Boredbrand (Good News Week 20/4/09: A Thousand Words)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

The Prime Minister has announced a $43 billion plan to bring super-fast internet to the entire country. That’s right folks, we just need to spend $43 billion and we’ll have the fastest porn in the world! Of course with the government’s internet filter in place, we’ll have the fastest access in the world to the […]

If at first you don’t plummet to your death… (Good News Week 20/4/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

A 22 year-old Russian man survived two consecutive leaps from a fifth-floor balcony with only minor cuts and bruises. If at first you don’t sui-ceed, try, try again… He jumped the second time because his wife was telling him off about the first time. And the first time, she was telling him off about the […]

Blowjob in a Helicopter (Good News Week 20/4/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

A commercial helicopter pilot videotaped getting a blowjob from a porn star while flying has had his license revoked. Mind you, he doesn’t need to fly choppers given the money he’s making from video sales. A commercial helicopter pilot videotaped getting a blowjob from a porn star while flying has had his license revoked. Pilots […]

Obarbarian (Good News Week 20/4/09: Strange But True)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Barack Obama is featuring in a new range of comics as “Barack the Barbarian”. No, it’s a compliment, really. / I’m sure it’s meant to be a compliment. That’s more like it! Enough of this pussy-foot negotiatin’, more bloody-axe swingin’! Obama the Barbarian is just like Obama the Politician, only there’s fewer grass-roots round-table discussions, […]

Saddam Museum (Good News Week 20/4/09: Strange But True)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

The Iraqi Government plans to open a museum filled with Saddam Hussein’s weapons, statues, paintings, furniture and artefacts. It’s a full Saddamarama! Because after 34 years of tyrannical rule, the Iraqis have been absolutely itching for a celebratory museum. At last, a decent justification for the invasion. You ought to see the Weapons of Mass […]

Good Next Week (Good News Week 20/4/09: closing)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Mon, April 20 It’s been one year since the 2020 summit. Though with the Global Financial Crisis it’s now discounted to 19.95. It’s been one year since the 2020 summit. And so far it’s achieved… um… anyone for a 2021 summit? / And all the great ideas will be up for discussion at the 2021 […]