Kim Jong-Spectac-il (GNW 17/8/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

100,000 North Koreans performed synchronised moves as part of the country’s biggest propaganda spectacle ever. It’s a Kim Jong-Spectac-il!

100,000 North Koreans performed synchronised moves as part of the country’s biggest propaganda spectacle ever. Even bigger than the spectacles he normally wears.

So now, any job that requires thousands of people dancing will be completed in no time!

The performance is about “achieving prosperity” by 2012. Yes, achieving prosperity through synchronised dance.

They’re hoping the entire country can win “So You Think You Can Dance”.

If prosperity can be brought about through synchronised dance, they’re onto a winner! / they’re going to outprosper us all!

The show celebrated North Korea’s aim of achieving prosperity by 2012. Of course, that’s in People’s Republic years – so just one thousand, nine hundred and forty-eight years to go!

Prosperity in North Korea is defined as every citizen having a daily bowl of rice and their own lump of plutonium.

They’re clearly already well on their way to prosperity. All they have to do is make ribbons and batons edible!

Ah, Kim Jong-il – he’s never seen without his spectacles.

And you should see the version with bayonets and rocket-launchers!

Looks like we just got PLAYED. It’s ON!

They sure shit all over our synchronised mass-gatherings.

Now we know where Osama went wrong – instead of terrorist cells, he should’ve been setting up dance schools!

It is amazing to see all those children performing with such military precision. It was definitely worthwhile having the stragglers shot at dawn. / It’s almost worth the beatings.

Looks like we’re going to be screwed if the next world war turns out to be a dance-off.

The synchronised dancing was a great show of the country’s power, particularly the climax where they all synchronistically blew up.

Yeah! Take THAT, Western Imperial PigDogs!

The North Korean leadership says the spectacle proves that the country is already entirely self-sufficient in pom-poms and coloured cardboard.

In latest news, Kim Jong Il has now formally declared war against the cheerleaders of the Western World. It’s time to RUMBLE! / Let’s hope it takes place in a jellypit.

Looks like the next world war will be a cross between Apocalypse Now and Fame. / Flashdance.

They still haven’t achieved prosperity. But they have achieved a massive display of flipped cards spelling the word “prosperity”.

Kim Jong-il has vowed that by 2012, he’ll have redefined the word “prosperity” to mean something achievable.

You think that’s powerful, you should see them powerwalk.

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