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Good News Week

Don’t iPod and walk (GNW 17/8/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

N.S.W. police have warned pedestrians who listen to iPods or text while crossing the road that they could be fined or even jailed if they cause an accident. Because copping a fine will really teach them a lesson that being hit by a car didn’t. / Because jail time will teach you a lesson that you’ll never learn by merely being run over.

Still, a jail sentence should give you the time to recover from your broken spine.

N.S.W. police have warned pedestrians who listen to iPods while crossing the road could be fined or jailed if they end up being run over. Especially if they’re listening to something really middle-of-the-road in the middle of the road.

A surge in the number of deaths this year has sparked a crackdown on distracted pedestrians. But it’s not actually a problem – it’s evolution.

A surge in the number of deaths this year has sparked a crackdown on distracted pedestrians. Because there’s no way we’re going to get drivers to slow down. / Because they’ve tried getting car drivers to be more careful, and they just yell and flip the bird.

Police can prosecute pedestrians for up to 18 offences, including moving into the path of an oncoming vehicle & crossing while unsafe. Well, cops have gotta get their kicks somehow. / Hell of a lot easier than going out and catching real criminals.

Texting while crossing the road! Will these young hooligans stop at nothing?

They’re going to charge people for causing an accident while wearing an iPod. They never had to do this with the Walkman – but I guess it was sponsored by the guy on the traffic signal.

And you don’t want to get done by one of their speed cameras, especially if you’re jogging in an ambling zone.

And you could also be done for drink-walking. You might as well drive – at least you’ll be out of the grasp of the cops quicker.

They’re going to charge people for causing an accident while wearing an iPod. Although you’re still allowed to walk around with your fingers in your ears.

And just like driving, if you accumulate 12 demerit points you lose the use of your legs for a year.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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