Party and lose wrinkles (GNW 17/8/09: monologue)

There were claims Australian GPs are hosting Botox parties for female patients. It may be a breach of ethics, but it sure reduces the seven signs of aging!

The parties have door prizes donated by cosmetic surgery companies – and you should see the pinata!

The parties have door prizes donated by cosmetic surgery companies, and their ‘pass the parcel’ contains a silicone tit!

It’s one of the few times you’ll play ‘pin the nose on the partygoer’ – with real flesh.

Of course the parties are catered. And the wine they serve is actually vintage, but tastes no older than a year!

The parties are billed as “a fun night out just for girls”. And what’s NOT fun about being injected in the head?

Of course, they don’t actually perform any cosmetic surgery on the night. Unless you get ‘em REALLY pissed.

The botox parties even feature lucky door prizes, which can offer a great excuse for your surprised expression.

If you win the major prize, you could walk away with a face full of botulism! Runners-up can win a mouthful of scurvy. / buboes. / maggots.

At the parties they demonstrate “how natural fillers can reduce lines, fill lips, enhance cheeks & improve the appearance of hollows under the eyes.” Which is a great twist on normal parties, where I come out all liney and wrinkly, with emaciated cheeks and eyes like two sultanas stuffed into leather bags.

Combine it with a Tupperware party so you’ve got something to take your old face home in.

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