2nd-rate Media Watch (The Glass House 22/2/06)

NEWS FOOTAGE: BACKYARD WRESTLING; KIDS BREAK FLUORO TUBES, JUMP OFF LADDERS & BASH EACH OTHER WITH FOLDING CHAIRS

Add a wacky sound-effect and that wins Funniest Home Videos for sure.

I don’t why they used the bleep instead of the usual “ba-doing!”

They’re just playing an updated version of “Cops & Robbers”: “Guantanamo Bay Guards & Enemy Combatants”…

You think Backyard Wrestling’s bad, you should see Backyard Abu Ghraib…

Still, it’s better than Backyard Abattoirs…

It’s an easier sport for the kids to do than Backyard Grand Prix / Surfing / Bullfighting…

They’re copying moves from video games. One of the most popular is standing on top of scaffolding, throwing barrels. Other favourites include running around eating pills and chasing ghosts, or trying to fit different shaped blocks together as they fall from the sky.

It’s not desensitising them to violence, it’s desensitising them to chairs and flouro lights!

How else are you going to break into WWF? By doing your homework?

Looks like someone wants to work at Abu Ghraib when they grow up!

New energy-saver fluorescent light globes can last up to four times as many bouts!

How many backyard wrestlers does it take to change a lightbulb? Four, if it’s tag team.

Gee, Question Time was good value this week!

NEWS FOOTAGE: STUN GUNS; VARIOUS HUMANS ARE ZAPPED & COLLAPSE, THEN A LARGE COW IN A PEN IS ZAPPED & COLLAPSES.

“Freeze! Nobody moo!”

Cow: 0, Pig: 1.

Handy for the War on Heifers.

“Stop! Or another cow gets it!”

That’s the Aussie version of bullfighting right there.

Takes all the fun out of bullfighting!

The eternal battle between cow and pig…

That’s the last time terrorists will try hiding in a cow costume!

Well? It could have been Osama…

Take that, Osamoo!

50,000 Volts! Mmmm, medium-rare.

Doesn’t take much to get a policeman to electrocute livestock.

Of course, the new weapon isn’t just for taking down cattle – you can also electrocute chickens! So funny.

Beef tastes best when it’s freshly shocked.

The best thing about the stun-gun is that you can incapacitate a whole terrorist cell, and have a barbie at the same time!

At last – remote cow-tipping!

The cops love these non-lethal weapons. You can use them on anything!

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