$11 million Qantas guy (GNW 28/9/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

Despite only working five months in 2008-09 before retiring, Qantas chief executive Geoff Dixon was paid 11 million dollars. Just further proof that the financial crisis is over. At least, it is for that guy.

Despite profits dropping 88 percent and 1750 jobs lost, Geoff Dixon’s 5 month job as CEO netted him 11 million. Fair enough – ruining thousands of lives isn’t an easy job.

Despite profits dropping 88 percent and 1750 jobs lost, Geoff Dixon’s 5 month job as CEO netted him 11 million. He explained that it was “y’know, financial crisis futureproofed negative gearing stuff – ooh look, all the luggage is falling out of that plane!” (And no-one’s seen him since.)

But don’t worry. Karmically, he’s got some pretty serious arse-cancer coming his way.

Well, someone had to be rewarded for cutting costs with no regard for human suffering.

To rub salt into the wound, after retirement he worked for another four months as a consultant at the CEO base rate. His replacement clearly wasn’t enough of a draining leech by himself.

Well, it was either pay him 11 million bucks or patch up the aircraft. And which is the easier option?

Well, at least we can hope that the 11 million dollars that had to be skimmed off airline safety will result in him dying in a horrible disaster.

Ah, a compensation package worth 11 million dollars. Good to see that these hard economic times aren’t affecting the rich bastards.

Turns out the whole thing was a practical joke. They were AUSTRALIAN dollars!

Sure, it’s a lot of money, but clearly he’s worth it. Otherwise he wouldn’t have paid himself so much, surely.

Qantas figured if they paid him enough money, they might be able to sell him a couple of their dodgier jets.

Qantas shareholders are outraged, but unfortunately dumping their stock now will just make him feel better about leaving. / will just make it look like he really was worth all that money. / will make his cash-leeching look like it was propping up the share price.

So when your safety-compromised plane’s plummeting out of the sky, try to steer it towards his house.

Where are the terrorists when you need them? Someone’s just begging to be flown into.

Geoff Dixon. What a stupid qant.

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