The Hey Hey Minstrels star in “Niggerama” (GNW 12/10/09: 7 Days in 7 Seconds)

The Hey Hey Reunion is in hot water over a Red Faces skit featuring a blackfaced Jackson Five impersonation. But that’s the great thing about Hey Hey, it takes us all back to a time before political correctness, sensitivity and brains.

It’s appalling. Michael was never THAT black.

Who’d think that in this day and age, people could be so shallow and backward that they’d be offended by a bit of facepaint?

But it’s not racist! Everyone knows all black people look like gollywogs!

(Kamahl voice) “Why are people so unkind?” / As Kamahl would say, “Why are people so unkind?”

The world has reacted with outrage. If blackface was still acceptable, don’t you think the real Michael Jackson would have used it?

Daryl Somers was surprised at the outrage. He’d never heard of this new fangled “racialism”.

Daryl was very contrite in his apology. Not that he apologised to anyone watching who may have been offended, but Harry Connick Jr is a serious celebrity!

The red faces act is surprised by all the criticism. The act went down a treat at the Stormfront pie night. / at the KKK meat-raffle. / on “The KKK’s Got Talent!”

Of course, Michael Jackson would be shocked by all the outrage this act caused. After all, he was the one who said it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white.

The act has realised their mistake, and from now on will instead perform the Ching Chong Song.

Judge Harry Connick Jr took a stand, giving the act zero and saying he was offended. Fantastic to see that we need Americans to teach us about racism.

Afterwards, host Daryl Somers apologised to Harry Connick Jr and his countrymen for causing offence. Lucky we Aussies can take a joke, eh? / Daryl was sincerely sorry he hadn’t only picked good old-fashioned racist Aussies to judge it.

But it wasn’t racist! They had to black up to impersonate the Jackson Five! The joke of the sketch was… um… they… um… danced badly… um… Michael Jackson is dead… er… look, afros are funny, ok. Get over it.

Come on, the sketch was hilarious! Because Michael Jackson’s dead, get it? / Because the real Michael Jackson can’t even sing that well any more!

If you’re going to black up like that, at least perform songs by real negros! (Not show-biz coconuts like the Jacksons.)

It’s not the racial angle that got them in trouble. It’s that they were in direct violation of the colour of face required by the segment, “red faces”.

Funnily enough, the act would’ve been perfect for “Black Faces”.

But Hey Hey’s producers are rapt to see the attention it’s attracted, and are going to rename the segment “Black Faces”.

Of course, if they’d been extremely young or extremely old, everyone would’ve laughed, and they’d’ve won.

The same guys performed the same act 20 years ago. But of course, that was back when Michael Jackson was still black.

And you should see their Obama sketch! / their “Obama Meets the Spazzy” sketch – hilarious! / “Obama meets the Cancer-Riddled Cycling Kid” sketch!

But it’s Red Faces! If an act isn’t appallingly shit, it has no right to be there.

They were having a competition as to who they could piss off first – African-Americans, Michael Jackson fans, or people who enjoy music. / people who expect to see actual talent.

Of course, the act is only offensive if it turns out they weren’t really African-Americans.

I hate to say it, but for once, I’m with the wowsers! And the darkies. / Solidarity, nigga!

Still, no matter how appalling or insensitive their act was, they’re more likely to walk away with a prize than any of you lot.

But there’s no way Hey Hey is racist. After all, their booth announcer’s always been a blackman. (And Daryl’s co-host is African!)

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