Bush’s reject wins Nobel (GNW 12/10/09: 7 Days in 7 Seconds)

Australian molecular biologist Dr Elizabeth Blackburn has won the Nobel prize for medicine for her study of chromosome-protecting enzymes in cells. “Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi! Chromosome-protecting… enzymes…”

She has won the Nobel prize for Discoverer of the Most Chromosome-Protecting Enzymes. Believe it or not, she was the only nominee.

Dr Blackburn was dropped from George Bush’s Council on Bioethics in 2004 after questioning its bias. And you don’t question the ethics of the bioethics council – they determine what it is. / And the last thing an ethics council want raised is a question of ethics.

Dr Blackburn was dropped from George Bush’s Council on Bioethics in 2004 after questioning its bias. That’s right, anyone questioning ethics has no place on the Bioethics Council.

She made the mistake of thinking that an ethics council might be interested in ethics.

George Bush stood by dismissing her, saying that her Nobel Prize wasn’t even in biomethics.

She’s a morally-upstanding, intelligent, ethical scientist. Of COURSE Bush dropped her!

She’s happy to win a Nobel. She can put it on the shelf next to her Nobush.

But Bush never was as big on “Nobel Prizes” as he was on “agreeing with him”.

To her, it’s more important that science is independent, than to be in the government’s favour. Which is why she accepts so much money from al Qaida.

In her home town of Hobart, she was once asked “What’s a nice girl like you doing studying science?” And that chauvinistic family friend will be the first recipient of her new “liquid cancer”. / “spray-on cancer”. / “spray-on tumour”.

George Bush stood by dismissing her, announcing that Nobel prizes are not just evil, but they don’t even have a bell.

She fell out with President Bush over cloning and embryonic stem cells. She supported using them in research, while he thought the only use for brionic cloning should be to create another Steve Austin.

She fell out with President Bush over cloning and embryonic stem cells. She wanted to use them for research, while he insisted they should only be used for blood sacrifices.

Dr Blackburn’s research may actually lead to a cure for cancer. Which makes it hard to make snide jokes about how she should be curing cancer.

She’s discovered an enzyme. Well, good on her. She can use it in the washing.

It’s the first Nobel received by an Australian woman. Bad luck, Germaine.

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