The Indonesian Solution (GNW 26/10/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

The Government is divided on whether a bounty should be paid for every boat or asylum seeker stopped by Indonesian authorities. The Indonesians are hoping it will be adopted, as they have plenty of their own boats they’re just dying to stop.

The Government is divided on whether a bounty should be paid for every boat or asylum seeker stopped by Indonesian authorities, or whether we should just blow the bastards up.

The Prime Minister refuses to say how much he is willing to pay Indonesian bounty-hunters to prevent boat-people getting to our shores. That’s either because it’s embarrassingly large, or embarrassingly small.

Rudd says the amount he’s paying the Indonesians is a secret, but he’s asked retailers to stock up on trinkets.

The Prime Minister refuses to say how much he is willing to pay Indonesian bounty-hunters to prevent boat-people getting to our shores. But you can guarantee it’s more than he’s willing to pay for Australian schools and hospitals…

Rudd won’t say how much he’s paying the Indonesians. He’s hoping to hide it in the Budget under the stationery allowance. / under petty cash.

The Prime Minister refuses to say how much he is willing to pay Indonesian bounty-hunters to prevent boat-people getting to our shores. Not because he’s embarrassed – he really just has no idea. / Which is a shame – John Howard is after another job…

Rudd says it isn’t at all like the Pacific Solution, as some of Indonesia is in the Indian Ocean.

It’s very generous. Enough asylum seekers and we can drag Indonesia out of recession too!

He has refused to confirm or deny the rumour that a bounty will be paid for each boat the Indonesians stop from reaching our shores. But he has repeatedly mentioned the benefits of coconut rolled in thick milk chocolate.

Rudd has refused to deny the rumour that Indonesians stopping people-smugglers will be paid a bounty. But he has categorically ruled out any payment by Cherry Ripe. / After all, they might prefer to be paid in Polly Waffles.

The government would much rather pay Indonesians millions of dollars to stop refugees coming here than spend the same amount helping them flee from war and persecution. Good to see those Howard days are long gone…

I’m glad we are paying millions of dollars to Indonesia to help us with boatpeople. After all, we know they’ll only target people who aren’t genuine refugees. And they’ll really sort out those pesky Timorese!

I’m glad we are paying millions of dollars to Indonesia to help us wipe out that refugee problem. After, they’ve already proven themselves with the way they handled that East Timor problem.

I’m glad we are paying millions of dollars to Indonesia to help us wipe out that refugee problem. Especially those refugees fleeing the brutality of the Indonesians.

Let’s face it, it’s going to be much easier for asylum seekers fleeing poverty, war and persecution to fit in in Indonesia, particularly the parts effected by poverty, war and persecution.

The Indonesians are happy to take on any and all asylum seekers. Especially from East Timor… / Those darkies will fit right in.

Indonesians are happy to offer asylum to anyone. After all, any terrorist threats will just assimilate right in to Jamaah Islamiyah.

Even if the asylum seekers rise up and overthrow the people smugglers, we’ll still pay a bounty on the mutiny.

Big Kevin says there’s “nothing remarkable” about the process. Makes you wonder why so many of us are remarking on it.

Although if there are too many asylum seekers, the bounties may bankrupt the Australian Government, resulting in a breakdown of civil order and a brutal police crackdown, sending people fleeing our shores seeking asylum from Indonesia… and imagine how much we’ll have to pay them then!

Leave a Reply