Bryce work if you can keep it (GNW 26/10/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

In the 13 months since Australia’s first Governor-General Quentin Bryce was sworn in, more than a third of her 85 staff have left. Those Government House guys just can’t stand a chick telling them what to do. Except the Queen, God save ’er.

30 of Government House’s 85 staff have left since Bryce became the GG. But perhaps they just want to get themselves a proper job before the whole place is knocked down and replaced with townhouses.

30 of Government House’s 85 staff have left since Bryce became the GG. But it’s not that she’s a tough boss – she’s just a massive fartarse.

30 of Government House’s 85 staff have left since Bryce became the GG. But it’s not that she’s a mean boss – they’re just sick of always having to pull her finger.

Nearly half of her staff have left. And she says she’s got her eye on the other half – and your little dog too.

The staff can see the writing on the wall. Having a woman as Governor-General is the final step to getting them all fired.

Wow – she’s almost as unpopular as the Queen!

Ms Bryce’s secretary defended her to a Senate committee and refused to outline individual complaints. I mean, he’s not stupid.

In the past year, Bryce has lost a third of her staff and Turnbull’s lost more than half. Sounds like the only Australian leader that’s enjoyable to work for is Kevin Rudd. It’s all worth it for the swearing.

And woe betide anyone who makes a “geegee” joke. / And the man who made a “geegee” crack was never seen again.

Not only is she a tough boss, but she’s forever nagging about the dishes.

More than a third of her staff have left since she came to the role. Although they claim it’s pure coincidence, let’s never speak of it again, shut up or she might hear you…

More than a third of her staff have left since she came to the role. And a television host who made some wisecrack about her was never seen again. Next story…

More than a third of her staff have left since she came to the role. And another third wears long sleeves so the bruises won’t show. / And another third keep “walking into doors”.

No wonder Rudd appointed her. You wouldn’t want to give her the wrong type of meal either.

Mr Rudd yells at you if he gets the wrong meal; Ms Bryce just eats you instead.

Sure, Mr Rudd loses his head sometimes when he gets mad – but when Ms Bryce is angry, you lose yours.

Who would’ve expected such a terrifying amazon would be hiding behind a frail old woman called “Quentin”?

Perhaps they’ve worked out that 85 people is more than is required to prepare the ribbons for cutting.

The Governor-General has 85 staff! That’s one for personal correspondence, one to fax legislation to the Queen, and 83 to prepare the ceremonial ribbons.

There have been rumours she’s been a hard taskmaster. And she’s going to keep abusing staff until someone finds her a crown!

But many of the staff have left after a misunderstanding. They thought they were going to work for Quentin Tarantino.

Good to see that Australia’s very own Quentin is just as capable of going all “Reservoir Dogs”.

Working hard to make a living
White linen in his veins
Quentin Bryce
Ain’t very nice
So he moves into middle-management in the retail sector

There once was a woman named Bryce
Who apparently wasn’t that nice
Her staffers all left
And so, quite bereft,
She went home and tortured some mice.

There once was a woman named Bryce
Who apparently wasn’t that nice
Her staffers were keen
To work for Quentiiiiin
But now they’re all paying the price.

There once was a woman named Bryce
Who apparently wasn’t that nice
Initially keen
To work for the Queen,
Her staff are now paying the price.

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