PMS(L) (GNW 9/11/09: Warren)

A new study is suggesting that there could be a secret weapon in combating pre-menstrual stress: men! That must explain why men never get it!

A new study is suggesting that there could be a secret weapon in combating pre-menstrual stress: men! And here we were thinking we were the cause of it.

Traditonally, men have just made themseves scarce when PMS rears its ugly head, but apparently, they might actually be able to help instead. Admittedly, mostly by just making themselves scarce.

Apparently men can help just by being supportive and understanding. Sorry ladies – looks like you’re on your own. / Like that’s gunna happen!

Unfortunately now if you’re suffering bad PMS, you’ll probably think your partner isn’t supporting you enough… this research just makes everything worse!

Apparently men can help just by being supportive and understanding. And women can help by just shutting the hell up. / Conversely, female partners can be helpful in combating men’s monthly headaches, simply by shutting the hell up.

A lack of support from partners during PMS can result in a “pressure-cooker effect”. And the one thing you don’t want right before your period is to blow a valve.

But for single women the cure for PMS remains the same as before – a sex-change. (That way you can be your own bloke!)

Of course men can already help women with PMS. It’s called the “punching bag effect”. / They can just shut up and take the abuse. It’s very cathartic!

Of course, before they start helping with PMS pain, it might be nice if they occasionally did the dishes.

Of course, many feminists suggest that the whole concept of PMS is yet another piece of patriarchal oppression stereotyping women as hormonal rather than intellectual, subtley but insidiously devaluing and dismissing women and their opinions – but they were just on the rag. / but they’re clearly the ravings of someone who’s hysterical. / but that’s clearly just PMS.

It’s obvious! When was the last time you heard of a man with PMS?

PMS often manifests as irritation or crankiness with their partners. It’s nature’s way of forcing you to seeing the pricks they really are.

Unfortunately for women, the pain of PMS can force them to see what a useless misogynistic retard their bloke really is.

Oh great. As if we didn’t already have enough problems dealing with our partners’ PMS, now we have to CURE it.

And if men don’t cure their partner’s PMS, they’ll really cop it.

And for single women, I guess the best cure for PMS is to fling yourself at the nearest bloke and hope they’re sympathetic.

There already is a cure for PMS. It’s called menopause.

Not only might men be the cure of most PMS, but also the cause.

Apparently it’s the little things men can do that make all the difference. For instance, telling their partners they should just shut up and do the dishes, isn’t so helpful.

Apparently it’s the little things men can do that make all the difference. Like not being a stupid piece of shit arsehole.

Apparently it’s the little things men can do that make all the difference. Like being able to read her MIND.

Of course, the best thing a man can do to help a woman suffering PMS is DIE. / is SHUT UP AND DIE. / is GO TO HELL.

Then again, I’d be pretty pissed off too if every month I was bleeding from the twat. / crotch.

Anger, irritability, depression, and tension are common parts of the PMS rollercoaster – and apparently it’s quite hard on the sheilas too.

But what women are really looking for is a bit of empathy. And the best way for blokes to achieve that is to chop off their cocks. (Then we’ll finally understand what it’s like to have “women’s problems”. / a bit of blood “down there”.)

But what women are really looking for is a bit of empathy. Which is why when they have PMS, they keep threatening to chop off your cock.

But the research just gives women another reason to be cranky with their husbands. “You’re not curing me quickly enough!”

Not only might men be the cure for PMS, but SMS, PNG and FU2.

But if you really want a supportive, empathic partner during that time of the month, turn lesbian. / simply be a lesbian.

Of course, whenever my partner gets PMS, I PMSL. / Of course, the worst thing you can do when your partner gets PMS is to PMSL.

Of course, the worst thing you can do when your partner gets PMS is to LOL.

Leave a Reply