Obamaversary (GNW 9/11/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

It’s a year since the election of Barack Obama. What a disappointment – America voted for change, and yet he’s still there!

Well, he was elected on a platform of “Hope”. And the moment you do something, it crushes the hope right out of it.

Well, he was elected on a platform of “Hope”. As for actual changes, well, we can still hope.

He’s fulfilled all his promises. In one single year, he’s managed to consistently and uncompromisingly not be George W Bush.

It’s been a year, and he’s STILL the USA’s first black president.

Well he came to office promising change, and that’s all that’s left in the Treasury.

There has been a global financial crisis on. So it’s understandable that all Obama’s been able to deliver is small change.

He promised change, and that’s why, the moment he was elected, he changed. / he changed into a banker-bailing, warmongering pro-spying, anti-press-freedom reptile.

Sure, he hasn’t achieved much. But there’s only so much you can do when you’re a figurehead puppet being manipulated from behind the scenes by oil billionaires, powerful religious nuts, and secret cabals of pure evil.

It’s been a year full of accomplishments. For starters, he’s managed to win the Nobel Peace Prize! Actually, that’s about it.

Sure, there’s been little to no change in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Middle-East peace, the financial crisis, unemployment, healthcare or climate change. But give him a few more awards and he’ll really be motivated to look into trying very hard to consider thinking about fixing something.

Sure, there’s been little to no change in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Middle-East peace, the financial crisis, unemployment, healthcare or climate change. But his kids do have that nice new puppy.

Sure, there’s been little to no progress on Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Middle-East peace, the financial crisis, unemployment, healthcare or climate change. But the point is, do we have change we can believe in? Yes we do!

Sure, by all practical measures it appears that Obama hasn’t achieved much. But then all he promised was vague platitudes – and he’s been kicking arse at them!

Sure, Guantanamo’s still running, Iraq and Afghanistan are still ruined hellholes, Iran is still developing its nuclear program, and China is still getting ready to take over the entire world. But he sure sorted out that Kanye West situation, huh?

The US economy is still faring poorly, but Obama promises he can get it back in shape. He knows some brothers who can get their hands on some quality rock.

Sure, he hasn’t achieved much politically, but he and Michelle have christened every room in the White House.

Sure, he hasn’t achieved much. But what have YOU done, huh?

Sure, he hasn’t achieved much, but he’s barely started any wars at all. (So he’s still ahead of Dubya.)

Sure, he hasn’t ended any wars, but at least he hasn’t started any.

Sure, he hasn’t addressed any of the major problems that he was elected to deal with. But he has made incompetent and corrupt bankers much richer. That’s change right there!

I tell you what, being President looked much easier from the outside.

Turns out being President is even difficult if you’re competent.

Sure, he hasn’t achieved much politically, but he had a great time on Hey Hey It’s Saturday.

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