Glass House

Rogues Gallery – Bush’n’Bono, Keef, Eddie, TomKat (The Glass House 19/4/06)

The Bushes, Bono and Bob
Bono tries to explain the concept of “international diplomacy” to a fan.

“So do I get to join the band? I can get you really good coke!”

” ‘Bono’… that’s not Islamic is it?”

” ‘Bono’… sounds like a foreign name to me.”

Dubya: “What do you mean ‘me too’?”

Bush has trouble spelling the name of Bono’s band.

“You know, it’s funny, we’ve got a spyplane named after you guys!”

Bush learns the words to Sunday Bloody Sunday.

Bush learns how to dismantle an atomic bomb.

U2’s new line-up releases single about WMD’s; it’s called We Still Haven’t Found What We’re Looking For

“You take Geldof, honey… I fancy this one.”

“You know why I bombed Iraq? I don’t like Mondays…”

The new season of Celebrity Leg-Crossing. Geldof wins this round…

A nervous beginning to the annual meeting of the Human Power Elite.

Keef puckers up
Keith Richard’s impersonation of Mick Jagger. Or possibly the other way around.

“So kiddies, say ‘no’ to drugs!”

“MY GOD! I’m still alive!”

Keef discovers you can have drug-psychosis and senility at the same time.

New species of hairless gorilla discovered; and it can play guitar!

“I’m how old?”

“All right, who took me flippin smoke?”

Keef is finally informed that rainbow headbands actually symbolise gay pride.

“If you hold your mouth like this, you can do smack, coke and speed all at once! I call it ‘the Hoover’.”

Keith Richards forgets to light his smoke… or even put it in his mouth.

Weird old guy kicked out of Idol auditions… He only knew how to play old Rolling Stones covers.

John MacEnroe’s not aging well…

Keef gives dog blowjob – best Stones show ever!

McGuire and some hands
Eddie gets treatment for his big head.

Eddie’s contortionist act is amazing!

One of the perks of owning Channel Nine is the young nubile head-strokers.

“If you want to fill Kerry’s place properly, your jowels need to be out here.”

Eddie gets fitted for Kerry’s crown.

“There’s a good media mogul!”

Eddie gets assistance in the “rub your tummy and pat your head” trick.

The new season of Who Wants to Pat Eddie’s Head.

The weird thing is, those are Eddie’s hands.

TomKat at a funeral
Tom and Katie perform a Thetan Mind-meld.

“Another word out of you, Katie, and I’ll do my Mission Impossible arm-twist!”

A scene from Night of the Thetans.

“Stop moving! And remember to stay silent!”

Tom supports Katie through the first stage of labour.

Katie is told that giving birth can sometimes be quite painful.

“If you can keep silent during my arm squeeze, then the birth will be no trouble!”

Tom and Katie at the funeral of her pagan past.

Wearing black helps to focus the alien mind-beams.

Katie ponders her future, as “that Nicole problem” is finally laid to rest.

By Wok

Warwick Holt is a highly experienced, award-winning screenwriter, who has written for many of Australia’s top comedians and presenters, and the Emperor of this here Media Empire.

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