Donald gets duck all (The Glass House 26/4/06)

The actors playing Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck at Hong Kong Disneyland have been denied paid sick leave after suffering injuries from the heavy costumes. Hang on a minute – what do you mean costumes? (sniff) Oh well, there go my last childhood illusions…

The actors playing the Disney stars are having their pay docked while they recuperate. It’s a Mickey and Duckery Dock.

Disneyland argues that their occupation is not covered by labour laws, which only cover human workers.

The injured workers have been told they do have one legal recourse; they can wish upon a star… according to lawyers, their dreams will come true.

The Oversized Cartoon Characters Union has said their members have been treated unfairly, and intend to take their grievances to the real Mickey and Donald.

Unions are protesting the decision. Although it must be said that the Allied Union of Ducks and Mice doesn’t wield a lot of power.

The characters have gone on strike, vowing no singing, dancing or talking in squeaky voices until their demands are met.

The Oversized Cartoon Characters Union held a protest march, which was very well attended by the public. Although that was mostly just little kids wanting cuddles.

The protest march featured a bunch of costumed characters marching down the street and chanting in unison “Aargh, me back! Ow, me neck! Bloody hell, this hurts!”

The heavy costumes have caused muscle, neck and waist injuries, while the constant cheerfulness has given them aching funnybones.

The injured workers don’t even get superannuation. They get supercalafragilisticexpialidiociousannuation.

The workers really need the money. According to one, they’re bibbity-bobbity-broke.

But the Disney bosses have stuck by their guns. The workers are getting zip. (sings) Adeedoodah, zipadeeday! My o my, you’re not gettin’ your pay!

Mickey and Donald have quit the theme park. But it’s freed up job opportunities for Midget Mouse and Astro Duck!

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