Rogues’ Gallery – Costello, Costner, Trump, Whitney (The Glass House 3/5/06)

COSTELLO SOLICITS CHILDREN
Costello brushes up on his schoolyard taunts.
Costello loses again at thumb-wrestling. “Best out of three?”
“How much for the little girl?”
The new economics teacher seems like a bit of a creep.
“Would you like a tax cut, little girl?”
Costello selects another victim for the Altar of Blood.
Costello selects a virgin for tonight’s Economic Satanists meeting.
“Good luck in Iraq.”
Costello farewells new recruits on their first mission to Iraq.
Children meet their new teacher for Smirk Studies.
When she grows up he’ll still be waiting to be PM…
“You know, I’ve been handing down budgets since before you were born, missy.”
“Please sir, let go.”
“Remember, when you turn 18 – vote 1 Costello!”
“Mmm… fresh.”
“Chim-chiminey, chim-chiminey chim chim charee, a tax cut is yours if you shake hands with me…”

COSTNER SPITS
“That’s the last time I give head to a horse!”
Kevin Costner does an excellent fountain impression.
Say it, don’t spray it!
Costner’s lisp gets worse.
Costner does his impression of Monica Lewinski.
Costner’s new project: Spitting with Wolves.
Costner begins pre-production on Waterworld 2.
Waterworld 2: Salivaworld / Spittleworld
Costner just heard that someone actually liked Waterworld.
“That’s the worst soup I’ve ever tasted!”
Costner wins at “Celebrity Spitting”. Johnny Rotten is devastated.
Costner concerned by the extent of his drooling problem. /Costner’s drooling problem worsens.

THE TRUMP FAMILY
New character at Disneyworld frightens the children.
The launch of a new series: The Trump Family.
A tough judging panel for the new series of The Apprentice.
That Donald Trump costume is so unconvincing. / really lame.
Donald Trump’s hair, and other fictional characters.
The new series of Extreme Makeover.
Members of the Illuminati pose for a happy snap.
Now tell me I’m not going to rule the world! Mooohahahahaha!!”
Finding himself with a bunch of monstrous freaks, Shrek goes home.
Trumpworld opens.
The five finalists for “World’s Ugliest Entepreneur”.
A photograph of Monkeyhead, with four guys in Halloween costumes.

WHITNEY STILL FUCKED UP
Whitney tries out for the new Planet of the Apes sequel.
“I-yi-iii will always love drugs…”
Heroin. The greatest love of all.
“I found the greatest drug of all, inside of me…”
“I wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who drugs me…”
That’s right girls, become a pop princess and you too could end up looking like this!
Whitney Houston uses her super-tiny mobile to call her dealer.
Whitney doesn’t realise her mobile’s been repossessed.

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