Dancing with the Miners (The Glass House 31/5/06)

Thanks to their exclusive deal with Channel Nine, miner celebrities Brant Webb and Todd Russell have passed up on opportunity to participate in Dancing With the Stars. Now that would’ve been worth seeing: “Next up, Brant Webb and Todd Russell with a dance step of their own invention, which they call The Crap in a Hat!” / …which they call The Cramp!” / …which they call The Damaged Spine!”

They were offered a role in Dancing With the Stars, but it was only minor…

The lads had actually been practising their dance steps to pass the time while underground. Although due to space restrictions the Two-Step was replaced by a Half-Step, the Cha-Cha was reduced to a single Cha, and they didn’t dare do the Rhumba…

Thanks to their squeezy escape, Brant and Russell are actually now experts at the Limbo…

Not only do Nine now own the miners and their families, but they own the helmet full of shit. Rumour is, it’ll be replacing Eddie on Millionaire

To make the most of their investment, Channel Nine are launching new shows including Mining with the Stars, Survivor: Beaconsfield and Hat-Crap’s Half-Hour.

In a desperate bid for ratings, Channel Seven has plans to shove Daryl Somers down a mineshaft. All my dreams are coming true!

In a desperate bid for ratings, the next season of Dancing With the Stars will be filmed down a mine.

Todd’s mum Kay was also denied the opportunity to fulfil her dream of dancing with the show’s champ Grant Denyer. I guess she’ll just have to re-evaluate her life goals…

Lee Kernaghan and Steve Irwin visited the Russell family off-air. Now if only we could convince them to spend all their time off-air… / Now if only we could lure them down a mine-shaft…

The miners were offered a spot on Dancing With the Stars – they said they’d rather be stuck down a mine-shaft.

Despite Todd’s new friendship with David Koch and Melissa Doyle, his manager banned him from even meeting with the Seven stars off-air. Todd called Kochie later and apologised for not giving Seven the story, explaining that they were outbid by Nine. Coz poor Kochie had no idea… (teary) “I just thought you didn’t like me anymore…”

They’ve signed an exclusive deal with Channel Nine: in fact, from now on, all disasters are Eddie’s.

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