Glass House

Supper with the stars (The Glass House 8/6/05)

A new UK website offers you the chance to have dinner with washed up pop stars and comedians. For a fee of between 300 and 5000 pounds, Supper With The Stars will send around one of their list of semi-stars to liven up your dinner party. And after dinner they sing karaoke to all of their greatest hit.

Currently on the list are such blasts from the past as Nik Kershaw, ABC, and Limahl. Gee. That should make for a fascinating 30 seconds of fun.

The Limahl Deal is the best value: you ask him around and get a Never-Ending Story… ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah.

Many of the acts are one-course wonders: after the entrée, you forget who they are…

According to the site, Nik Kershaw and ABC both have a deadly allergy to nuts. So don’t put them in a room together or they’ll all die.

The Australian equivalent would offer dinner with Joe Dolce, The Uncanny X-Men or Mark Latham.

The stars get to approve the menu before coming over. So that means bubble’n’squeak might not be acceptable either.

Dieters can order the Pavarotti, Roseanne and Kirstie Alley deal; you get treated to the wit and whimsy of three enormous megastars, and they gobble up all your food.

As a special deluxe offer, you can be entertained by the celebrity of your choice, then can have them cooked and carved any way you like.

The American service is doing better, with such high-profile star-meals as Angelina Jelly, Brad Pitted Olives, Eminems, Vin Cheezel, Richard Gruyere, Bruce Spingonion and Bono Sausages-and-Mash. And the morning after you can have Michael Buble’n’Squeak!

There have been mix-ups. I ordered Limahl, but ended up with Kamahl. Why are people so unkind? (“Hey, hey, it’s Saturday”, circa 1983.)

No-one orders the Meatloaf Deal. They’re not sure which bit to eat.

By Wok

Warwick Holt is a highly experienced, award-winning screenwriter, who has written for many of Australia’s top comedians and presenters, and the Emperor of this here Media Empire.

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