Ockerettes (The Glass House 19/7/06)

New research reveals an increasing trend among Aussie women to get drunk in public, swear and go to the footy. Although it can make it tough to tell if a woman’s pregnant – that might just be her beer gut.

These post-feminist women have been dubbed “ockerettes”. No longer confined by feminine stereotypes, the ockerettes are now confined by a fresh new stereotype!

Women have made up a large proportion of the World Cup fans – Socceroo Ockerettes. We’re chock-a-block with them!

Many of the women are soccer-loving bogans trying to give up smoking. They’re moccie-shoeing Soccerooing Nicoretting Ockerettes.

Ockers and Ockerettes are getting together and having little baby Ocarinas.

78% of young women admit they’re likely to get drunk in public, and 87% more go to the pub with a group of women than 10 years ago. Horny single men everywhere are saying “bring it on!”

Women are taking on traditional male jobs, driving more aggressively, buying more booze, going to more footy games, and paying for dinner more often. Soon men won’t have to do ANYTHING!

Women are taking on traditional male jobs, driving more aggressively, buying more booze, going to more footy games, and paying for dinner more often. And as if that wasn’t enough, they’ve got tits!

Asked if it was true that women are swearing and drinking more, a spokeswoman said, “Fuck off, I’m getting pissed.”

According to one anthropologist, negative side-effects such as binge-drinking are the inevitable cost of progress. Women will never get ahead in this world unless they’re totally pissed. After all, that’s how most men gained power…

It’s natural – women have to get more ocker to compete with men. Especially in dwarf-tossing and soggy biscuit.

Interestingly enough, men are now wearing push-up bras, bleeding every month and enjoying the works of Barbara Cartland.

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