Spider stamp stamped out (The Glass House 19/7/06)

Australia post have withdrawn a set of stamps featuring red-back spiders due to fears that people might get scared when they get their mail. It also would have provided an excellent hiding spot for real red-backs.

It’s a shame really; it would have been great down at the arachnophobic Post Office: “AAAARRRRGGGGH! (postmark violently on desk) AAAARRRRGGGGH! (postmark violently on desk) AAAARRRRGGGGH! (postmark violently on desk)

Now what stamp will I put when I’m mailing out death threats? Cartoons of “Postie Kate” just don’t have the right feel.

It’s a shame – I was hoping to get free postage by just squashing a few spiders onto envelopes…

Postal workers are disappointed – they were looking forward to squashing the spiders with their postmarks.

Another problem was that you had to lick it with venom…

They’ve withdrawn the spider stamp from sale. From now on you can only get it on the web…

The trouble was, at stamp size the red-back looked too realistic. For similar reasons Aussie Post will never release stamps of Philip Ruddock’s heart. / John Howard’s conscience.

They are still releasing other stamps in the Dangerous Australians series including the box jellyfish, saltwater crocodile and the great white shark. So be careful if you have a fear of tiny sharks. “Aargh! Oh my God, it’s a tiny shark! Eek!”

The whole series is asking for trouble – kids, never lick the back of a real blue-ringed octopus, or you’ll never make it to the post box.

The “Dangerous Australians” stamp series originally included stamps of Chopper, Ivan Milat and John Howard. But the Chopper stamp had bits missing, the Milat stamp kept going missing, and the Howard stamp kept getting stuck to a stamp of Dubya’s arse.

One option they considered was to make the red-back stamp the size of a horse. But no-one could lick the whole thing without suffering massive tongue trauma.

Leave a Reply