Dubya Odds-off for peace prize (The Glass House 19/7/06)

George Dubya Bush has been ranked a 200-to-1 outsider for the Nobel Peace Prize. It’s not fair – that’s better odds than I’ve got, and I haven’t invaded anyone! Well, not recently…

I’m surprised the odds are so bad – after all, no-one’s more peaceful than when they’ve been clusterbombed to death!

George Dubya Bush has been ranked a 200-to-1 outsider for the Nobel Peace Prize. Though he is odds-on to win the Nobel War Prize.

He’s got no chance of the Nobel Peace Prize, but he’s a shoo-in for the Nobel Blowing-People-into-Pieces Prize…

He should win the Nobel Prize – after all, he’s got no bell…

So Dubya’s putting a bet on himself – at odds of 200 to 1, he could pay for the next five years of the “War on Terror”, and still have enough left over for his “War on Nobel”!

After hearing about his poor chances of winning, Dubya sent out a press release about Nobel Society’s links to al Qaida, their weapons of mass destruction, and needing to liberate the Peace Prize…

Pissed off, Dubya’s created his own award – the Dubya War Prize. “Hopefully I’ll win that one!”

But he’s got a plan; he’s going to clusterbomb all the other nominees…

Apparently Osama’s at three hundred-to-one!

Favourites for the prize include Yoko Ono, Bono, and Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono… Oh no!

If Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono wins, will it be a case of “Bambang, thank you mang?”

Sir Bob Geldof’s another favourite, having made a sterling contribution to peace – he hasn’t released any new songs. Ah… so peaceful.

Bambang is up against Bush – it’s like we’re in the Flintstones. One sounds like a prehistoric character, and one just has prehistoric polices…

In his delight at being nominated, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono freed forty terrorists…

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