Bush is the shit (The Glass House 26/7/06)

Respectable newspapers across America have published the word “shit” for the first time after George W Bush was caught saying it to Tony Blair at the G8 summit. Respectable parents are dismayed that the New York Times would publish such a filthy word, which is usually only heard in ghettos, bad neighbourhoods and G8 summits.

Whereas Australian newspapers publish any old shit. / write shit all the time. / print almost nothing but.

There’s another thing to add to Dubya’s achievements: the first President to say “shit” on TV. He’ll go down in history as a true statesman – or a swearing ex-drunk. Oh, and hello to Bob Hawke if you’re watching…

Bush actually used “doing this shit” because he couldn’t remember exactly what it was Hezbollah was meant to have done. But they’d better stop it, or more Lebanese civilians get it!

“Shit” is Bush shorthand for “you know, I don’t know what it is exactly, but it sure was evil!”

The New York Times should be called the New York Behind the Times. I mean, here on the ABC, we shit out shitloads of shits every shitty show!

But it’s double standards: they won’t use the word “shit”, but they’ve published pictures of Bush for years…

Debate raged across the US about whether or not they could use the word – which is pretty difficult when you can’t actually use the word. It’s like trying to talk about BEEEEP or BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. (during beeps, lots of detailed yet inexplicable miming actions)

The day the New York Times decided to publish the word, their headline was “We Print Shit!”

Headline: Shit Newspaper Publishes Shit Story / Newspaper Prints Shit

In the NY Times: Bush says “shit” / Shitty shitty shit shit shit… ah, that feels better.

“Shit” is one of those terms suitable for world leaders to use in private, but not to be published by the media – much like the terms “global conquest” and “screw the Geneva Convention”.

US forces are now finalising Operation Fuck Shit Up / Operation Kill those Raghead Cocksuckers.

It’s been a bit of a breakthrough for Bush. Finally he’s been able to tell the world the truth about the situation in Iraq: “that shithole’s up shit creek”.

Now that the word “shit”‘s been allowed, the other G8 leaders have finally been able to tell Bush what they think of him…

Now that media can use the word “shit” freely, it’ll be much easier to talk about US foreign policy…

The “War on Terror” has been renamed the “War on Those Fuckin Bastards”.

The “Axis of Evil” has been renamed the “Axis of Shit”.

Bush spoke freely afterwards. “Lebanon, Syria and Iran now constitute an Axis of Shit.”

Bush was addressing the Israel-Lebanon war, suggesting that all Lebanon needed to do was “get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it’s all over”. If it’s so easy, George, why don’t you get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit? You’re the one with the War on Terror aren’t you?

Yep, Lebanon are just not talking to Syria enough. No wonder Israel needs to bomb them back to the stone age. Talk, damn you, talk!

The Lebanese government would love to go talk to Syria to ask them to stop Hezbollah’s shit. Unfortunately someone blew up all the roads and airports…

The real solution to the problem is to destroy everyone of any religion. Between them, Israel and the Nazis have the right idea! If only we can get them to collaborate we’ll have world peace at last.

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