Drug test pollies (The Glass House 9/8/06)

South Australian Family First MP Dennis Hood has said that if the Government failed to introduce legislation to drug-test MPs, then he would. He’s got one vote already!

Hood’s ploy is a cunning Catch 22. If any politicians vote against the bill, he can accuse them of being paranoid! And everyone knows that’s a sure sign of drug use…

Take away a politician’s drugs and how do you expect them to stay awake during parliament?

Politicians shouldn’t be on drugs when they make decisions about our lives! They should stick to being pissed.

Personally I think our politicians are on drugs. “Woah… refugees are everywhere! Quick! Lock them up, before they get us! HURRY!!!!”

Howard: “Man! Everyone’s out to get me! I need to be able to lock everyone up… then I can do something about the mind-spiders!”

John Howard has been suspected of drug use. “I love you Dubya… like, I really mean it man… you’re so beautiful!”

Of course, pollies want drug tests: they want to make sure they’re getting the good stuff.

At least if they’re on drugs there’s a good reason for all their shithouse policies…

I agree, all politicians need to be drug-tested. Especially those Family First crazies – they’re tripping for sure.

I agree, all politicians need to be drug-tested. Especially those Family First crazies – you don’t get that paranoid naturally.

Family First MPs should be kicked out of parliament if their drug tests come back negative… because what’s their excuse otherwise?

Hood says it’s hypocritical not to test MPs now that there is random drug testing of drivers. He’s also in favour of airbags in parliament. Well, gasbags anyway…

Hood is said to be less keen on a compulsory test for religious self-righteousness…

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