Mel Cartman (The Glass House 9/8/06)

South Park‘s Cartman and Mel Gibson share identical views on Jews starting wars. There’s a simple explanation for this whole thing. When Mel gets drunk he likes to impersonate Cartman. It’s just that the media haven’t seized on the comments about his mum being a crackwhore.

After being released on bail, Mel told the officers “Screw you guys, I’m going home.”

Mel should remember what his school counsellor told him: “Nazis are bad, mmmkay?”

Well, the Director’s Cut of Mel’s “Passion” does include the line “Oh my God! They killed Jesus!”

(sung) “Goin on down to Auschwitz, gonna have myself a time…”

Mel’s been pulled from his series about the Holocaust, Auschwitz Park. Even though Isaac Hayes has already written some great sexy funk songs about gassing Jews.

Cartman will appear in Mel’s next movie. Though he’s having difficulty with the Aramaic…

Mel’s had his latest project cancelled, a miniseries about a Jew during the Holocaust. Still, Chaim the Holocaust-Denier was bound to cause a little controversy.

Mel’s next project was to have been about the Holocaust, despite the fact that his father has been outspoken about the scale of the Holocaust being exaggerated. That must be why it’s only a mini-series.

“The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. If there were no Jews, do you think Hitler would have killed 6 million Jews? I don’t think so!”

It’s a long time since we’ve seen Gibson pissed, driving like a dickhead, and spouting racist abuse – at least we now know he’s still an Aussie.

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