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Rummy warns us of fascists (The Glass House 6/9/06)

Donald Rumsfeld has warned that the US is confronting “a new form of fascism”. A surprisingly honest assessment of his party there… / the Bush administration there.

Rummy compared critics of the Bush Administration to Nazi appeasers who wished to negotiate with Adolf Hitler before World War 2. Not that anyone’s actually suggesting we negotiate with Osama bin Laden – it’d be good enough just to find him.

“The terrorists are a new type of fascism, just like Hitler! Whereas we’re more like Mussolini. / Pol Pot / Idi Amin / Darth Vader.

As Rumsfeld said, “You can’t negotiate with fascist dictators. You just have to say ‘Yes Mr President’.”

Rumsfeld said, “Can we truly afford to believe that, somehow or other, vicious extremists can be appeased?” No, the only way to defeat vicious extremism is with even viciouser extremism.

“Do you really think vicious extremists can be appeased? I’ll tell you now: we can’t.”

Rumsfeld’s quite right, the best way to fight Islamic terrorism is to invade a secular country and ensure that it becomes a seething hotbed of Islamic terrorism. And anyone who says otherwise is a goosestepping Nazi-lover!

Rumsfeld also let fly at America’s media, saying negative reports out of Iraq have been manipulated by Iraqi insurgents or al-Qaeda terrorists. Riiiiight. I guess they should put Rupert Murdoch under a control order. (Or “Jihad Rupert” as he’s now being called.)

Apparently negative criticism of the war saps the nation’s will to fight in Iraq. And peaceful nations suck! / And nations that don’t wanna fight are pussies!

For some reason hearing reports about blown-up children makes people want to stop the war. What a bunch of pansies. / What, are you crazy? That’s the best bit!

Apparently negative reports of war “sap the nation’s will to fight in Iraq”. If only those reports been broadcast in 2003…

Rumsfeld said “The struggle we are in is too important to have the luxury of returning to the ‘blame America first’ mentality.” I agree, blaming America is wrong – we should just blame Rumseld. / What about a ‘blame Rumsfeld first’ mentality?

Rumsfeld said “The struggle we are in is too important to have the luxury of returning to the ‘blame America first’ mentality.” Rumsfeld prefers a “never blame America for anything” mentality.

If the Bush administration had’ve been in charge in WW2, they would’ve responded to the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbour by invading Norway.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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