Wa-Wa and Na-Na (The Glass House 20/9/06)

Channels Nine and Seven are at each others’ throats about Naomi Robson and the Today Tonight crew’s expulsion from Indonesia. Channel Seven claims it was doing the right thing, Channel Nine claims Channel Seven are liars, and Channel Ten responded by replaying an old episode of The Simpsons.

Naomi and her crew say they were on a hero’s mission to save a six year old orphan boy named Wa-Wa from being cannibalised. They were hoping to bring him home and ruin his life on camera instead.

He’s named Wa-Wa after the noise he makes every time he loses a parent or gets marinated.

The whole thing reminds me of a special Today Tonight did on queue-Jumping kidnappers…

A Current Affair is now doing a shocking exposé on journalists illegally sneaking into other countries to steal their children and film the whole thing for overseas perverts.

Robson’s plan was to enter the country with the wrong visa, kidnap the child and smuggle him back to Australia. And the Indonesians are calling her a criminal!

The plan was to be a daring rescue mission. Naomi was going to pose as a celebrity chef with a great new recipe for roast human – but when the tribe’s back was turned, she would snatch the boy out of the pan while pretending to turn the onions!

But once they got him out, it’d be a media feeding frenzy! / the media would eat him alive!

The tribe’s offered to release the boy if they get to eat Naomi Robson.

This is a blatant case of cookbook journalism!

The crew were detained for travelling on tourist visas, and claim they had been dobbed in by Channel Nine, who had originally covered the Wa-Wa story for 60 Minutes. Because a full camera crew is pretty standard tourist luggage these days.

The tribal expert who was to lead Robson and her team to Wa-Wa had previously taken a 60 Minutes crew to see the boy. He was peddling the story around to any network that would take it. That’s right folks, it was a “Wa-Wa Peddle”.

At least Wa-Wa’s not living with a tribe of guitarists – they’d plug their instruments into him and stomp on him repeatedly…

Seven’s head of news Peter Meakin said “What’s going to happen to the little boy is now in the lap of the gods. And the stomachs of his elders.”

What right do we have interfering with a foreign culture? I mean, what if he’s really tasty?

Naomi’s being held temporarily, while they dice the carrots…

The tribe is willing to swap Wawa for Naomi Robson; apparently they’re sick of eating Indonesian… / they eat Indonesian all the time….

If the whole reason for doing this had been to rescue Wa-Wa, then couldn’t they have gone as tourists? Last time I checked, you didn’t need multiple camera coverage to effect a daring rescue / for a kidnapping.

The Today Tonight crew’s deportation has been thoroughly covered by dozens of tourists with suspiciously good equipment…

It’s a shame they didn’t pull off the rescue: it’s been ages since I’ve eaten Indonesian… / I was looking forward to my slice… / I love a bit of Wawa Goreng…

Australians might think it’s wrong to eat children – but he won’t be this tender forever!

What I wonder is, when they’re dishing it up – who gets the Wa-Wa Knee?

If he had been rescued, there were plans for him to make a short appearance on the new Jamie Oliver show… / there were plans for him to make a short appearance on the new Jamie Oliver show, “Eating the Brains of Children”.

He was to appear on the new reality show, “Wawa’s Getting Eaten”. A short season, but action-packed!

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