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Musos boycott Iraq (The Glass House 4/10/06)

Tim Freedman of The Whitlams has boycotted playing for Australian troops in Iraq. Shame, really – he could have rewritten “Blow Up The Pokies” as “Blow Up Iraqis”.

Freedman was asked but decided not to go because he didn’t agree with the war. Besides which, not one Whitlams album has even charted in Iraq.

As Freedman said “If I wanted to risk my life playing music, I’d play in Frankston.”

Veteran entertainer Col Joye also said he wouldn’t go, having been duped 40 years ago into doing shows in Vietnam. “Back then, people knew how to lie you into a war with integrity.” / “I would’ve refused to go to that one too – but it had such a great soundtrack!”

Defence Minister Brendan Nelson has angrily responded that, in return, the Army will boycott invading the musicians and shooting them in the head.

Brendan Nelson said musicians “can disagree with the political decision, but also support the people who are doing the job.” Which is why it’s OK to play to Al Qaeda.

The troops have had to make do with B-grade celebrities like Aussie Idol’s Lee Harding. Still he was a good way for them to sharpen their aim.

The troops have had to make do with various unknowns and B-grade celebrities, since that’s all Australia’s got.

Shannon Noll has volunteered to go, but the offer’s only open to musicians.

The Forces Advisory Council on Entertainment say that they are totally non-political, and do not comment on whether particular operation is right or wrong. “We’ll support anything!” / “We’d even play for Osama, if we could find him.”

Human Nature are keen to play in Iraq – and we’re keen to send ’em!

Human Nature are keen to play in Iraq. But at this stage they’re keen to play anywhere.

With no bands coming over, the troops will have to amuse themselves with torture and sodomy.

The US troops have already been entertained by Paris Hilton – though there was no singing involved.

Bands that are going to Iraq are The Clash (of Cultures), U2 (the SpyPlane), and the (Military) Police.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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