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Glass House

Don’t forget your kid (The Glass House 11/10/06)

A flight from Samoa to Sydney was delayed last week when ground staff asked the passengers whether anybody had left a baby girl in the departure lounge. The forgetful parents claimed her. “To be honest, I’d forgotten we even had a child.”

It was an understandable mistake; they’d just bought a new daughter duty-free.

The baby wasn’t even supposed to come to Samoa in the first place, but they’d forgotten she was in the suitcase.

It wasn’t until they were 1000 metres up that the couple remembered they didn’t actually have any children at all – they had a cat.

It wasn’t until they were 1000 metres up that they remembered they were scared of flying – and were actually on a boat.

It wasn’t till they were 1000 metres in the air that they remembered that they were actually just popping down the corner shop to get some milk.

“When the announcement said ‘could all passengers in rows 1 through 16 please board’, I misheard it as ‘please leave your babies in the departure lounge’! It was a mistake anyone could have made!”

It’s a tragic tale. They had intended to have an abortion, but they just kept procrastinating, and before they knew it they’d had the baby and had to abandon her. “Why’d you think we came to Samoa in the first place?”

“Look, a kid’s got to move out sometime! She’s on solids now, she can fend for herself.”

“Look, if it’s good enough for Tom Hanks, it’s good enough for my daughter.”

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to try traditional adoption methods now.”

“It’s a baby girl! I wondered why my bag was so heavy.”

The parents said it was just lucky they’d left their baby daughter somewhere warm, safe, and that sold duty-free alcohol.

The story has a happy ending though; once they got to Sydney they dropped the baby off on the luggage carousel. She’s on an eternal merry-go-round!

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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