Kazakh Bankh (The Glass House 8/11/06)

Still stinging from a concerted campaign of slander by Borat, Kazakstan has had another PR blow when the country’s central bank was found to have misspelt the word “bank” on its banknotes. Unfortunately this now makes them useless for buying horse’s urine, pigskins or other peoples’ daughters.

The bank staff responsible said it was a mistake anyone could have made. “I thought they’d said the Kazakstan Central Bonk!”

They tried to sack the people responsible, but unfortunately the letter of dismissal actually sacked them from the Kazakstan Central Bang.

It was a good idea to invite Borat to visit Kazakstan, but they probably went a bit far when they invited him to design the currency.

More embarrassingly, it turns out that they’re not even a real country at all – they’re a small suburb of Hobart.

They also spell “milk” wrongly on their cartons, sing the wrong words in their national anthem, and instead of a flag have a cardboard sign that says “We are Kazakhstan.”

The Kazakh government has been angered by Borat declaring war on Uzbekistan on their behalf. And now, thanks to the currency mishap, they can no longer afford the catapults.

They used the wrong form of the letter K. And when you work at the Kazakh Bank, you need as many forms of the letter K as you can get.

It was bad enough that they spelt the word wrong on the notes, but then the bank staff realised they’d been going to wrong building all these years.

They’ve had to reprint all the notes. The problem is, no-one knows how to spell where they have to go to replace their faulty notes…

The same thing happened to the Commonwealth Bank here, where they used the wrong form of double M.

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