Dead dog reporting for duty suh! (The Glass House 15/11/06)

The German Army has called up a dead dog for National Service. It turned out to be a terrible mistake, the poor old blind Pekingese would have been completely unsuitable for the Zombie Schnauzer Squad.

We’ve stumbled upon the new German war plan! Smuggle dead Pekingese dogs into enemy territory and when people innocently pat them they explode! So next time you see a stationary Pekingese – RUN!

Dead dogs aren’t great in the heat of battle, but on parade they do stand rigidly to attention.

Dead dogs make terrific soldiers – they’re loyal, obedient and don’t bat an eyelid on parade.

The best thing is dead dogs never complain about being sent on suicidal missions.

Ever since World War 2, Germans have been reticent about joining the Army. The Dead Dog Brigade is just to make up the numbers.

The official army letter asked for the dead Pekingese to report for military examination with his ID card and a pair of swimming shorts. If he passed the physical, they wanted to see how quickly he could float 100 metres.

I can’t believe they tried to recruit a dead dog! Normally they wait until the recruits are in barracks before starting on the violent initiation…

The German army are currently recruiting Pekingese dogs to carry their new crack squad of supermidgets. Or as they call them, “The Mini Race”.

Germans have been keen to get more dogs in the Army ever since they’ve seen the success of Inspector Rex.

Every army squadron should have a crime-solving dog! They’re dependable, and you only have to pay them in Scooby Snacks! (Rooby-Dooby-Doo!)

The pooch’s death was sad. His last words were “Arf Weidersen”…

Leave a Reply