First steps to catwalk career (The Glass House 29/6/05)

Glass House raw material about an article a bit like this one.

South Chinese models are being forced to take an exam to show that they can walk properly before taking part in fashion shows. Some stay up all night the night before, pacing back and forth nervously. Which is good practice.

South Chinese models are being forced to take an exam to show that they can walk properly before taking part in fashion shows. Some stay up all night the night before, pacing back and forth nervously. Apparently, the “anxious look” is “in”.

What next? They’re going to be wanting models to be able to engage in conversations, come up with their own ideas, or hold down their food!

Models will also have to take an annual test showing that their educational level is at least at high school standard. That’s Year 7 though; we wouldn’t want to make it impossible.

One of the exam questions reads: “If I have a size C bust and inject 60 mils of silicone, how many more centrefolds will I get?”

One of the exam questions reads: “How many doses of Botox do I require before I lose all facial expression?”

A multiple choice question reads “When walking, should you:
a) Place one foot in front of the other
b) Place one foot on top of the other
c) Attack the people of Tibet?
The correct answer is, of course, a) and c).

To get their PhD, South Chinese students now have to submit a portfolio of their sexiest poses.

…the only PhD that has a swimsuit component

…the only PhD thesis with a centrefold.

Although I only read it for the thesis…

Models worldwide have reacted angrily to the news, with a call to boycott the South Chinese edition of Vogue. Spokesmodel Paris Hilton said, “Like, I can’t even spell exam.”

One model asked “What’s an exam?”

Models who fail the walking exam will be put into an intensive schedule of walkathons and mall shopping until their walking improves.

Unfortunately designers are still able to get work regardless of their intellect.

However, there is no rule that fashion designers need to be able to make proper clothes…

All models are going to have to pass this walking exam. Except model aeroplanes.

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