Good News Week

Bush Stoned again (Good News Week 18/2/08: The Usual Suspects)

Oliver Stone wants to make a film about George W Bush. It’s a tale about a guy who went from being “an alcoholic bum to the most powerful figure in the world”. And why that’s such a good idea. / And why that was such a bad idea. / And how you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

It’ll be the story of a man who went from alcoholic bum to the most powerful figure in the world – and back again! / – with hilarious consequences!

It’ll be the story of a man who went from alcoholic bum to the most powerful figure in the world, without any real sort of change in priorities.

The film will suggest that Bush gave up drinking when he found the Lord. Apparently, all he drinks now is the Blood of Christ. (“Best thing is, it can still getcher pissed!”)

Stone’s already made films about Presidents Kennedy and Nixon. Of course, Kennedy got killed and Nixon went to jail, so he’s really hoping al-Qaeda will come up with a killer ending for this one…

The film also strongly features Bush’s father, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. Now all they need is a good guy.

Stone is in talks with Josh Brolin about playing Dubya. Brolin’s father recently played Ronald Reagan in a mini-series. Which doesn’t suggest that Republican Presidents are all the same. Not at all.

Josh Brolin is the favourite pick to play Dubya, and apparently Saddam Hussein plays Osama bin Laden. / Osama bin Laden will play Saddam Hussein.

Actor Josh Brolin has been slated to play Bush, but unfortunately he’s finding it difficult not to speak correctly.

Actor Josh Brolin is going to play Bush, and, being such method actor, is binge-drinking and coke-snorting his way into character.

It’s old territory for Oliver Stone. Not only has he done previously done films about two US Presidents, he’s also done one about Natural Born Killers

Stone says it’s going to be a balanced portrayal of Bush’s life. Probably best that he skims over that whole Iraq thing really.

The film’s called “Bush”. They wanted to stick with a title that Dubya could spell.

The film’s called “Bush”. It’s predicted to go well in the porn market…

It’s got everything you could want: drama, suspense, action, and not too much maths or spelling.

“Bush” will focus on Dubya’s wild youth, when invading foreign countries was still just a crazy dream…

Bob Hawke has come out arguing that it’s just offensive to make a movie about a womanising drunkard who becomes triumphant leader of a nation, unless it’s about him.

By Wok

Warwick Holt is a highly experienced, award-winning screenwriter, who has written for many of Australia’s top comedians and presenters, and the Emperor of this here Media Empire.

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