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A dog of a song (Good News Week 3/3/08: Strange but True)

A song audible only to dogs has topped New Zealand record charts. Not to suggest that New Zealanders are unusually close to their dogs. They just prefer a bit of quiet time. / It’s just a nice break from all the sheep.

The song can’t be heard by humans, which is just as well – the lyrics are “Rise up and destroy your human oppressors!”

The lyrics are about a land where there are trees every few metres apart, it rains goodos, and cats have only one leg.

The only lyrics are “Ry Ruv Roo”.

The song has had mixed responses. One dog violently attacked the radio when it was played. He prefers light classical.

The song has had mixed responses. One dog violently attacked the radio when it was played. He was trying to tell his owner the whole thing’s a scam – there’s no music there at all!

Dogs actually love music. Some of their favourite songs are “Take a Walkies on the Wild Side”, “Walkies on the Moon”, and “Nothing Compares 2 Food”. / “Good’o Vibrations”. / “Cat’s in the Kennel” / “Walkies Like an Egyptian” / “Diamond Dogs” / “Puppy Love”. / “Walkin’ the Dog”.

Dogs also seem to really like folk music. Especially Cat Stevens.

Dog actually prefer classical music. Especially Bach. / Especially Offenbach.

Dogs actually love musicals. Especially “Cats”.

Dogs say that, yeah, they like the song, but they much prefer the sound of a can of dog food being opened.

Dogs are said to be soothed by the track when it’s played on the radio. The track actually is silent, they’re just grateful for a break from Kyle and Jackie O. (Although they are really really ever-so-talented people, and personally I can’t wait to see them later in the year on the wonderful Channel Ten’s fantastic Big Brother 08! Ahem.)

The track soothes dogs, but surprisingly also rounds up sheep.

When asked if they liked the song, dogs said “Yap!”

Most dogs prefer to listen to it on their WalkieMan.

Dogs actually prefer to listen to whale songs. And whales prefer to listen to Stevie Nicks. So there you go.

One radio station played the record on the wrong speed, and the desk lit up with calls from disgruntled elephants.

Of course, there’s nothing actually on the CD. It’s actually an elaborate experiment to see if dogs are smarter than humans. So far, no dogs have bought the CD…

You think it’s hard to hear. You oughtta try singing it.

The CD’s being put out by the Auckland SPCA, and is still available: just go down there and pick one out of the cage.

Dogs love to sing and dance to the song. Either that or they’re writhing in pain screaming “Too high-pitched!”

Dogs love dancing to the song, and one was even seen doing a Moonwalkies.

When they discovered they couldn’t hear anything, some people have tried throwing the CD away – only to have their dog catch it and bring it back.

Sounds like the Emperor’s new clothes. Literally.

The New Zealand SPCA are now releasing a special Easter song that can only be heard by bunnies, and a Valentine’s Day release for sheep.

A special song for cats has also being created, but instead of being too high for humans to hear, it’s just the sound of mice being tortured to death. (Weird, but that one’s not selling as fast…)

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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