Burglar stuffed (The Glass House 13/7/05)

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In a classic Homer Simpson moment, a thief was caught trying to escape a Romanian pie shop after eating so many pies that he got stuck in the window.

The thief had had a couple of close shaves previously, barely managing to stagger out of a liquor store he’d knocked over, and getting stuck in a doll at the local Club X.

The burglar was released on bail, but went back to his old ways. The next night he broke into a video store, but was caught half-way through Twin Peaks…

The pies were too delicious to resist – there’s a lesson there for any bakers who want to protect their wares from theft.

When the shop owner arrived in the morning to see the floor covered in pie wrappers and a pair of stubby legs hanging out the window, he called all his friends over to have a laugh before calling the police. Unfortunately for him, the next night he was robbed by a bulimic, which’ll teach him to gloat.

Simple Simon robbed a pieman
Or at least he planned a robbery
But the pieman laughed at Simon
Coz he was too blubbery

“We’re going to leave him there,” said the owner, pointing to the dangling thief. “He’s great advertising!”

The thief is suing for health damage. “Look what they’ve done to me!” he said, “These people need to be locked away!”

Instead of arresting the pie thief, police just left a trail of delicious pies leading straight to his cell…

In related news, an alfalfa shop has been ransacked by an extremely thin burglar, who was unable to escape when the automatic doors failed to recognise him…

The thief was 140 kg. Though he was only 60 kilos when he came in…

But he thief wasn’t actually stuck in the window; when he got halfway through, the magnificent view of historic Romania made him swoon. (Romanian accent) “I love this country!” he blubbered. “Almost as much as I love pies! And I do love pies! Very much!”

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