$2000 Budget dinner (Good News Week 5/5/08: monologue)

The ALP are selling tickets to sit with ministers at a Budget presentation for $2000 a pop. And they only need to sell 15 million tickets to fund our tax cuts!

The ticket to sit next to Brendan Nelson has surpassed all expectations – it’s nearly 3 dollars fifty!

Seems like people are willing to pay anything for a chance to gob a loogie on Brendan Nelson.

If anyone’s interested, there’s a few tickets left in the cheapest section. That’s all the seats around Brendan Nelson.

The budget is expected to be tough. Come to think of it, it’s probably worth two grand to watch so many other people’s pain.

Coincidentally, the budget does include a rebate of up to $2000 for anyone attending any political party’s budget presentation.

2000 bucks?! Doesn’t sound budget to me.

Of course, it is a budget dinner. It’s fishfingers and a cask. / just Kevin’s leftovers. / cold pizza.

If it costs 2000 bucks for their budget dinner, how much does it cost for deluxe? / how much does fine dining cost?

Mmm, dinner with Wayne Swan. Now that IS budget.

At least the tickets are tax-deductible. / The tickets aren’t even tax-deductible.

2000 bucks may seem a lot of money to spend on a dinner, but it does have a happy finish.

They’re charging 2000 bucks a ticket. Looks like the budget didn’t go quite as well as they’d hoped…

2000 bucks may seem a lot of money to spend on a dinner, but you’ve gotta pay for all those schools and hospitals somehow…

You can spend up to 5000 bucks to rub shoulders with a minister. And it’s 10,000 bucks to get them to rub yours.

600 dollars gets you one of the backbenchers. But you can barely see anything from back there.

600 dollars gets you one of the backbenchers. You can spend the entire dinner giggling and throwing paper planes at the back of Kevin’s head.

It’s only $600 to sit with a backbencher. Although some of those are paying $2000 themselves – it’s the easiest way to get the PM’s ear. And the wax comes for free!

The top-priced ticket gets you seated next to a minister, pre-dinner drinks, and a breakfast briefing. But you still have to sleep in the wet patch.

And you haven’t lived until you’ve seen big Kev in his breakfast briefs.

The $2000 ticket also gets you a breakfast briefing. Wayne Swan daks you.

This way you can spend your year’s tax cut all in one go!

The ALP figures that if you’re willing to spend two grand to listen to the Budget, perhaps you’d be willing to fund a hospital or school. / or two.

Of course the expensive tickets will probably fuel the demon inflation, leading to more interest rate rises for Rudd’s beloved working families. But on the plus side, he can roll around in piles of cash.

The move comes at the same time as the federal ALP are considering following the NSW government’s proposal to ban all political donations. But these tickets aren’t really a “donation” – they’re more of a “bribe”.

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