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Transit lane inflatables (Good News Week 30/6/08: Strange But True)

Auckland drivers have been caught using blow-up dolls, mannequins and dogs dressed as children to justify driving in transit lanes. Well? The laws only require cars to have three or more occupants – and now they’re getting all pernickety and saying they have to be human.

In New Zealand, drivers are using blowup dolls to try to get past transit-lane rules, and for bizarre sex.

If you want to thwart the rules by carrying something in your car that you can later use for perverted sex, it has to be a real person.

In New Zealand, drivers are using blow-up dolls to try to get past transit-lane rules. This may explain the blow-up dolls, but it doesn’t explain the gerbils and the three tubs of lube.

In New Zealand, drivers are using blow-up dolls to try to get past transit-lane rules. And, in many cases, blow-up sheep.

More and more cars in Auckland are found to be travelling in transit lanes using blow-up dolls as passengers. And even as drivers. Weird.

Sometimes the mannequins have been driving. And they do get their licenses out of a Weeties packet.

One man was pulled over driving in the transit lane with a pair of mannequins, but maintains he’d never have been in the transit lane if the dummies hadn’t egged him on.

This is nothing new. Al Qaida have been using blow-up dolls in cars for years… / Iraqi insurgents have been using blow-up dolls in cars for years…

But people should be allowed to drive in the transit lane, even if they don’t have any real friends.

People should be allowed to count sex dolls as passengers, otherwise they’ll have to get some real friends.

And instead of the boot, the Mafia have started storing their corpses in the passenger seat.

They’ve even been caught using dogs dressed up as children. Which may also be a solution for Bill Henson.

They’ve even been caught using dogs dressed up as children. Although, one of them was actually just a really ugly child.

One passenger was a dog dressed up as a child. It was only when they were pulled over that they realised they’d left their kid at home in the kennel.

Buying a set of kids’ clothes, dressing your dog up in them, strapping it into a carseat… it’s a lot of work to go to just to experience slightly less congestion on the freeway.

But surely if a couple is taking their dog to a fancy dress party they should be allowed to drive in the fast lane? Those doggy cupcakes won’t last!

Yes, blow-up dolls: they not only provide sexual gratification, but agreeable company on those long drives.

That’s even worse than covering your car in lycra and trying to sneak into the bike lane.

But what’s wrong with using the Inflatable Dolls And Dogs Dressed As Children Lane?

But even worse, regular drivers are using the Inflatable Dolls And Dogs Dressed As Children Lane!

Not only are they using inflatable dolls to flaunt the road rules, but sometimes they use cars for sex. / but sometimes inflatable cars.

A blow-up doll could possibly pass for a genuine passenger, though not if it’s one of those big arm-waving coloured pipe ones.

Of course a blow-up doll makes a convincing passenger when passing traffic cops. She always looks like she’s just seen the pigs. (Mime round mouth.)

In fact, so many people are so desperately cramming into the transit lane, that all the other lanes are empty.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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