Anyone missing a 727? (Good News Week 14/7/08: 3 1/2 Corners)

Vietnamese authorities are trying to find the owner of a Boeing 727 abandoned at Hanoi’s Noi Bai airport last year. I’m thinking of popping over and saying it’s mine.

They also want to find the owner of the airport it’s been stranded on.

If someone doesn’t own up soon, they’re going to have to ask one of the passengers. / ask the pilot.

They hope someone claims it soon, the passengers are beginning to get restless.

They hope someone claims it soon, there’s no room for anything else in the ‘lost and found’ office. / it’s taking up all the room in the ‘lost and found’ box.

It’s bad enough that the aeroplane’s been dumped, but it’s getting harder and harder to convince the passengers they’re really just on a stopover. / to distract the passengers with another pack of free peanuts. / but the passengers are beginning to think something’s up. / are beginning to ask questions. / are starting to get sick of the safety demonstration. / same in-flight movie.

And they’re running out of OJ. / complimentary bikkies. / sick bags.

Not only is the plane stranded, but, on board, there’s a really frustrated hijacker.

It wouldn’t be such a problem except it’s obstructing their main runway and no-one’s been able to take off since.

The plane was flown in from Cambodia last year, but the Cambodians insist they were just sick of it taking up room on their airstrip.

Somewhere in Vietnam, a Cambodian pilot is wandering around saying “I know I left it here somewhere!” / “That’s the last time I get that drunk!”

A cursory examination of the abandoned plane has revealed it’s been used to do burn-outs and doughies.

The black box doesn’t really help solve the mystery – it just has the pilot saying “Okay, we’re approaching the Bermuda triangle right now-” and then silence…

Oh! That’s what happened to my plane!

They know the plane came from Siem Reap in neighbouring Cambodia. They’re thinking of calling the Cambodian airport to find out whose it is. But only as a last resort.

But where did it come from before it landed at Cambodia? Or was it built at the airport?

The lost plane’s not the problem – it’s just that it’s full of snakes.

Airport workers would have found the owner by now, only that no-one wants to take responsibility. They don’t actually have anyone appointed in charge of Lost Planes.

Wouldn’t be the first time an airline’s lost someone’s property…

The plane may be lost, but at least this time they kept track of the luggage. / but, weirdly enough, the luggage all ended up exactly where it was meant to.

They’ve obviously just lost it as a tax write-off.

Tragically, it now seems the plane was in a horrible accident, where it crashed wheels-first into an airport runway. (No-one survived.)

It was the maiden flight for the fledgling Cambodian airline, but when the pilot touched down and swore never to fly again, they don’t have anyone to fly it back.

Maybe it belongs to a terrorist who accidentally learnt how to land.

That’s what happens when an airline just can’t keep up the payments.

The lost plane may explain Vietnam’s recent surge in wandering air-hostesses. / increase in homeless air-hostesses.

The jet has Air Dream written on it, but no-one has any information on the airline. And their email is bouncing.

The airplane seems to belong to an unknown company called Air Dream. They were actually ready to be launched until the company’s owner took the maiden voyage and decided he didn’t really like these aer-o-plane things.

If the owner doesn’t turn up soon they’re going to be forced to put it on eBay.

It’s really just a billionaire playing a practical joke. See: Air Dream! It’s like it’s an airline but it’s actually like a DREAM! Ohohoho… yes, he’s got so much money that he’d waste millions on a terrible joke like that. Could be Richard Branson, not sure.

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