Snuff is back (Good News Week 27/10/08: Warren)

The credit crunch and smoking ban have resulted in the revival of the dead art of snorting snuff! Unfortunately the habit is so little seen these days, it has caused some tragic accidents when some kids tried snorting snuff films.

The new craze not only saves you money, but it means you don’t have to keep going outside all the time to for your nicotine hit. But, unfortunately, you do have to snort tobacco up your nose.

Snuff is becoming a preferred form of taking tobacco since it’s cheaper and less harmful than cigarettes, doesn’t require you to go outside, and comes in fruit flavours. And it’s more convenient than a smokeless orange.

Becoming addicted to nicotine has never been so easy!

Of course, it’s much harder if you want to get a passive high.

With smoking, you could always save money by breathing in others’ second-hand smoke. But having a second-hand snort is much more difficult – and really fucking gross.

Though it won’t be long before people start complaining of passive snorting. Especially if snuff snorters sneeze.

But it’s such a poor substitute for cigarettes. Sure, you get your tobacco rush, but what about the noxious fumes, coughing fits and lung cancer?

I don’t get the popularity. How is it anti-social now?

It’s a cheaper, smoke-free, fruity-flavoured and much less harmful way of taking tobacco. You can see why it’s been so unfashionable. / Where’s the rebellion in that?

It’s cheaper, smoke-free, fruity-flavoured and much less harmful way of taking tobacco. But you can always roll it up and smoke it.

Sure beats snorting cigarettes.

Or you can just stick cigarettes up your nose. That way you still get the tar and additives! / …tar and additives, and look like a drug addict!

Of course, the real rebels are taking their snuff, and smoking it. / and mainlining it. / just shooting it up.

I don’t see what’s wrong with having your tobacco injected into your eyeball, like we used to do.

Not only are the kids of today snorting their tobacco, but they’re injecting their beer and eating their smack!

Unfortunately, several people have already been hospitalised after mishearing and trying to snort smurf. / muff.

Snuff manufacturers are thrilled. At last they can afford to eat something other than snuff! / Looks like this might be their big break!

Best of all, you can mix it with a little coke and no-one will ever know!

And with all the money you save, you can buy up big on cocaine!

One side-effect is that all the kids are now wearing vests, swapping their mobiles for fob-watches, and expressing a hither-to unexposed attraction to dirigibles. / velocipedes. / the penny farthing. Huzzah, eh what!

I’m all for people taking snuff. What I object to is the fob-watches.

Kids we spoke to agreed that snuff was jolly good, eh wot, tally ho, I say, criminy old chap. Whatever that meant.

Not only is snuff back in amongst the youth, but there’s been a real resurgence in spats and cravats. / top hats, cravats, and spats.

Not only is snuff back in amongst the youth, but there’s been a real resurgence in Telegraphs about the Steam Engine.

Snuff is becoming more popular, though still not as popular as snuff films.

But if you’re going to get involved with snuff, please be careful around filmmakers.

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