PopeTube (Good News Week 16/2/09: What’s the Story?)

So the Pope’s on YouTube. LOL. / I’m Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Arse Off.

The Pope’s on Youtube! At last a virtual home for your virtual God!

The Vatican have set up their own YouTube channel, though so far it’s mostly being used as a marketing tool for the iPope.

His Holiness is also upgrading his line to God. / getting his line to God replaced with fibre-optic. Dial-up divinity is so last Pope.

At last the Pope’s on the Internet, where all crazies belong. / with all the other nutjobs.

Ah, the Internet. The home of rational debate.

At last, one online home for all your favourite six hour Latin masses!

The great thing about using YouTube is that now the Pope can put up videos of himself lecturing about the sins of the flesh, and link them directly to the evidence! / to videos depicting those very sins! / to hundreds of videos of the flesh in question.

Pope Benedict says that both he and YouTube share the same simple philosophy – if they don’t like you, it’s because “U R gay”.

It wasn’t quite what the Pope expected. He thought it’d be more like a device he used in the Hitler Youth to round people up: the Jewtube.

According to the Pope, network sites like MySpace and Facebook are “gifts to humanity”. After all, Jesus may have been pretty cool, but he couldn’t display his disciples’ videos online.

The pontiff praised social networking sites as a “gift to humanity”. Especially the new Catholic site, HisSpace!

However, the Pope still refuses to use MySpace. He insists on using (looking to heaven) HisSpace.

The Pope praised sites such as Facebook, and is even setting up his own social networking site: Holybook. (You don’t poke people, you bless them.) / Although if you Poke someone you’re not married to, you go straight to Hell.

According to the Pope, network sites like MySpace and Facebook are “gifts to humanity”. He’s just not sure who they’re gifts from…

According to the Pope, network sites like MySpace and Facebook are “gifts to humanity”. And no-one’s had the heart to tell him that they’re actually man-made.

There are some great clips: Tarmac-Pashing, Gay-Bashing and Cooking With Jesus, which shows you how a few loaves and fishes can be stretched to feed thousands.

After all, it’s just like when Jesus poked Matthew, wrote on John’s funwall and tagged himself in Pontius’s video.

The Pope says social networking sites are “gifts to humanity”. And lo, the Lord looked down and bless-ed the people, saying “MySpace is YourSpace, peeps”. / “I give you MySpace – K Thx Bai.”

The Pope says social networking sites are “gifts to humanity”. In fact, why read the holy book when you can read Facebook?

He’s looking forward to the day when God accepts his friend request.

Though don’t add God as a friend on Facebook, unless you want Him knowing all the details of your private life.

The Antichrist has set up his own Facebook page, and keeps taunting the Pope by refusing to be his friend.

With all that praying from around the globe, God was like the original Internet.

About time. After all, the Church was the original World Wide Web.

Unfortunately, the Pope still believes the Internet is what Jesus’s disciples used to catch their interfish.

Not only is the Pope now on YouTube, but he’s started up a series of Loljesuses. “I haz pwned yr sinz!”

I love the clip where Jesus ascends to the heavens, saying “K Bai!” / looks at the Romans and the Jews and says “Epic fail!”

The Pope says that Christianity and YouTube have many similarities. They both give strength to the meek, they both unify the many, and God is really just a fancy version of Ceiling-Cat.

The Pope has been very wary of the Internet and the trivialisation of sex and violence, but decided to embrace it when it seemed it was just impossible to infect with AIDS.

The Pope has always been very wary of the Internet, but now he’s a big fan. He didn’t know it had dwarf-fisting!

And, after all, isn’t the internet the best way to meet young boys?

He’s also setting up Popemobile Daytona. You always come last, but when the bullets fly, you’re the only one left alive.

The Vatican’s also offering a Papal game for Nintendo Wii. It feels like you’re really kissing tarmac!

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