Debtaration Y (Good News Week 16/2/09: What’s the Story?)

According to a BankWest study, 29% of under-30s are financially unfit, 64% are borderline, and just 7% are deemed financially fit. That’s what happens when you put all your money in shares, housing or savings.

According to a BankWest study, 29% of under-30s are financially unfit, 64% are borderline, and just 7% are deemed financially fit. But what other judgment do you expect from a bank. / That’s the last time I get a bank to judge me.

According to the study, Gen Y are the worst at financial management. Although, whatever generation is currently in charge of the world’s finance clearly isn’t that shit hot either.

According to the study, Gen Y are the worst at financial management. And yet they didn’t send us into a world recession. Interesting…

If these Gen Yers continue to be so financially irresponsible, one day we might find ourselves with some sort of financial crisis!

Those irresponsible youngsters! Lucky they’re not in charge of the global economy, eh?

Yeah, like the banks are doing such a great job.

Sure, Gen Y might not be fiscally fit, but you should see them crump!

Under-30s are financially irresponsible? Next you’ll be telling me they spend their money on clothes, alcohol and partying!

Come on Generation Y. You may have only just entered the work force, but where are your savings, superannuation, insurance, paid-off houses, and massive salary? WHERE?

But “financially inept” is a bit of a judgment call. The appropriate term is “fiscal responsibility disadvantaged”.

Financially unfit people were also rife across other demographics, from baby-boomers to Treasurers. / Prime Ministers.

But they’re not really being financially irresponsible. They’re just launching individual economic stimulus packages.

Don’t know where people have gotten this idea that it’s a good idea to be in debt. Anyone know? Kevin? Wayne?

A BankWest executive said it’s possible that a lot of people acquired unhealthy financial habits during the unprecedented period of growth, but it’ll bite them hard during the tough economic times ahead. Or it’s possible that they lost all their savings in the stockmarket after taking advice from someone like him.

Of course, “financially unfit” is just another way of saying “unattractive to stockbrokers”. So there is an up side.

Gen Y-ers are financially inept, according to bankers. And their haircuts look ridiculous. And that stuff they listen to – you call that music?

However, they are vastly superior to the other generations when it comes to Nintendo. / PlayStations. / chroming.

Sure, Gen Y might not be fiscally fit, but you should see them crump!

Sure, Gen Y might not be fiscally fit, but they‘re a hell of a lot hotter than the Baby Boomers.

Of course, the chief economic executive of BankWest is just jealous because Gen Y gets more action than he does. / because he knows Gen Y will still outlive him.

Of course, Gen Y might have less money right now – but when the Baby Boomers are wheezing on their deathbeds, Gen Y will still be getting laid. So nyer.

According to the study, Gen Y are the worst at financial management. Although clearly not as bad as people just being born now. You know how may nappies they go through? With no thought for the consequences. And don’t get me started on their unrealistic lifegoals. You think breast-milk solves everything, don’t you!

BankWest retail chief executive Ian Corfield says that “It’s possible that a lot of people acquired some unhealthy financial habits during the unprecedented period of economic growth Australia has recently enjoyed.” Or perhaps, with house prices, petrol prices and WorkChoices, people just haven’t been able to save, you fucking rich prick.

The survey found under-30s didn’t save enough, had insufficient insurance, had housing costs beyond their incomes, were over-reliant on debt and played their music much too loud. / and spent too much on that “hip-hop” music. / and have you seen how they spell?

And frankly, not having a job is no excuse.

And don’t get me started on Gen Z – unless you call mixed lollies a balanced portfolio. / long-term investment.

The report uses the term “financially inept”, but the bankers prefer to just call them “customers”. / prefers to use the term “layabouts. / “troublemakers”. / “young whippersnappers”. / “ungrateful little shits”.

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