Serf Emancipation Day (Good News Week 23/2/09: Up-cut)

The Chinese government has now declared that March 28th will be a day for Tibetans to celebrate! It’s the day the Dalai Lama’s Tibetan rebellion was finally crushed by the Chinese military 50 years ago. Hooray! Those Chinese – they’re just so inscrutable.

Good news for Tibetans! China has declared March 28 “Serf Emancipation Day” in honour of their crushing of Buddhist rebels 50 years ago. They have promised everyone, regardless of belief, a day off from getting their heads caved in.

The motion was unanimously approved by what was left of the Tibetan parliament.

And when the Falun Gong are finally obliterated, they’ll get their own day too!

Ah, Serf Emancipation Day. Nothing like a public holiday to remind you of your lowly status.

Because when the Chinese give you a public holiday, they always make sure to insult you at the same time.

Serf Emancipation Day joins a crowded Tibetan calendar including Tibetan Underlings Day and the Week of the Crawling Scum.

Luckily the Tibetan people can put their past of serfdom behind them and live instead in a Chinese world of labour-camp slavery.

The Chinese government have decided that Tibetans should have a holiday to celebrate their freedom from oppression, and they’ll get it so long as they work extra-hard in the fields. / double their output.

Serf Emancipation Day celebrates the day that the slaves of Tibet were finally freed to live under a brutal totalitarian regime.

So the Chinese Government wants the Tibetans to celebrate “Serf Emancipation Day”. Of course, when the Tibetans eventually chuck out the Chinese invaders, they can celebrate “Serf n Turf Emancipation Day”…

Tibetans everywhere will be celebrating – in any Government-sanctioned way they like!

Tibetans everywhere will be celebrating the day, with the traditional “getting locked up” ceremony. / beating ceremony.

Tibetans will celebrate Serf Emancipation Day with the traditional festive meal of a bowl of cold rice.

The Dalai Lama will also get a holiday, and will use the day to admit that the reincarnation thing is a bit of a scam.

But for the Dalai Lama, it won’t be a day of celebration. The bloody Buddhists won’t give him the day off.

Tibetan Buddhists have reluctantly agreed to the holiday, and will spend the day not meditating quietly to achieve inner peace.

How dare those imperialist Chinese impose a day of celebrating their crushing of Tibetan independence. By the way, a belated Happy Australia Day Mick Dodson. / You wouldn’t see that sort of thing happen here.

So given that Mick Dodson’s opened the conversation about Australia Day, this gives me an idea: keep it on January 26, but rename it Koori Emancipation Day. That way, everyone’s happy!

But seriously, what kind of country would choose to celebrate a day that represents invasion and cultural genocide? Oh yeah, that’s right… / Wouldn’t happen here…

The Tibetans are really looking forward to it – nearly as much as they look forward to being tortured to death in slave camps!

Finally the Tibetans have something to celebrate! Funny – all this time they’d thought that being crushed by the Chinese military was a bad thing!

The day’s being called “Serf Emancipation Day”, and will feature a parade of all the serfs, led by Papa Serf and Serfette.

The day’s being called “Serf Emancipation Day”, and will celebrate the Chinese Army’s defeat of the evil Gargamel and cat Azrael, and the freeing of all the serfs, including Papa Serf and Serfette. Should be serfy!

Turns out it’s actually Smurf Emancipation Day. The serfs are to remain oppressed.

The day’s being called “Serf Emancipation Day”, and will celebrate the Tibetans’ freedom to surf whenever they want.

The day’s being called “Serf Emancipation Day”, and will celebrate the Tibetans hanging ten on a gnarly tube. Cowabunga, dude!

Leave a Reply