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Cock-up at the Ball-cooking Ball (The Glass House 14/9/05)

The organisers of the World Testicle-Cooking Championship in Serbia are disappointed at being tricked by a man claiming to be Australia’s leading Kangaroo Testicle Chef. They were told that he was flying over for the event, but it turned out to be bollocks…

Now that hoax took real balls.

The caller said that cooked kangaroo testes were a popular delicacy in Australia. Yeah, last time I was at the footy I tucked into a roo ball and sauce. Such a convenient bite-sized snack.

The caller said that cooked kangaroo testes were a popular delicacy in Australia. Yeah, they’re great with a koala salad and a glass of wombat.

The Serbs had even arranged a band to welcome the Aussie nut-chef. They were going to play “Great Balls of Fire”…

The Serbs had even arranged a band to welcome the Aussie ball-boy. They were going to play the old Rolf Harris classic “Fry Me Kangaroo’s Nuts”…

The winning chefs this year prepared a delicious assortment of wild boar and bull balls. Mmm-mm. I wouldn’t know which to try first.

They’re delicious, but I hate it when I get the scrotum stuck in my teeth…

They’re not only delicious, but you can use the scrotum to floss!

The caller claimed to be testicle chef Nigel Bevan. The real Nigel Bevan is appalled – he actually cooks arseholes.

It was a nasty joke – the man was actually a specialist at cooking wombat nuts.

Siberia now has a glut of kangaroo nuts, which is good news for some. Serbia’s champion roo-testes juggler is rapt. “At last I can earn a living!”

The hoaxer tried the same stunt several years ago, but officials were on to him when he used the name “Ballsy O’Scrotum”.

The kangaroo balls were highly anticipated – especially by the wild boars and bulls.

Kangaroos are relieved to hear about the hoax…

It’s hard to get roo testes in Serbia. There’s only one supplier.

“We would cook the balls ourselves,” said one testicle chef. “But how do you get the kangaroo to stand still?”

Huge numbers of Serbs turned up to see the Aussie testicle chef. Says a lot about the Serbian entertainment industry…

Huge numbers of Serbs turned up to see the Aussie testicle chef. Yep. I’m sure if they sent their best testicle chef over here, it’d fill the MCG.

“We would like to compare the testicles of a kangaroo to those of wild boars and bulls,” said the organiser. “But right now, I want to fry the hoaxer’s balls!”

The Serbs are still being fooled though: the organiser saying that he hopes the real Mr Bevan will turn up next year… “these roo testes won’t cook themselves!”

The Serbs are still being fooled though: the organiser saying that he hopes the real Mr Bevan will turn up next year… “these roo testes won’t stay fresh forever!”

Now Jamie Oliver is interested in the ball-cooking trend. I advise you don’t watch the new series of “The Naked Chef”…

I mean, I’ve heard of roasted nuts, but this is ridiculous!

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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